


Reckless Wanderer

by AcrylicMist



Series: As things Happen-verse [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Adrenaline, Angst, Demonstuck, Fluff, Lots of Background Ships, M/M, Magic, Miscommunication, Multi, Other, Reckless Behavior, Road Trips, Sexual Content, Skydiving, Strong Language, Travel, Trickster Mode (Homestuck)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2019-11-06 05:48:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 27,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17934005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AcrylicMist/pseuds/AcrylicMist
Summary: Demons, adventuring, and a whole lot of longing make up Jake's daily life. He's always chasing something.Even so, he always finds one person worth coming home to.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Oh boy what have I done now???
> 
> Someone needs to confiscate my fingers before I write another 100k fic in this universe, but no this miniseries won't be more than a few chapters. 
> 
> Also I've never written for this pairing before so comments are appreciated! This is technically a part of my As Things Happen-verse but it kinda stands on its own, though I do recommend reading the first fic before beginning to clarify some things.

Chapter one

Jake English finished uploading his new video to Youtube, a vlogging video documenting his climb up Mount Aoraki, New Zealand’s highest summit. The beautiful snow-capped peak fit right in beside the dozens of other exotic locales he’d visited and conquered the extremities of before moving onto his next adventure. The Aoraki climb had been challenging and rewarding, but at only five days out Jake was already feeling the itch to take on his next challenge, something different this time, something not involving the freezing cold that inhabited most high mountain chains. 

Jake adjusted the silencing headphones clammed over his ears, balancing the laptop on his knees as he chewed at his lower lip with though. Diving maybe? He’d heard the reefs of the Coral Triangle were stunning this time of year. 

Which meant he’d have to say goodbye to the ragtag group of adrenaline-chasing mountaineers he’d been tailing for the past few weeks as they took on each of Australia and New Zealand’s peaks. The men were good company, the best type of people to suit Jake’s need for adventure and his deeper, biological drive to wander and feed off mankind’s highest of highs and lowest of lows.

Not that Jake’s fellow travelers knew he was a Trickster. The demon was strict at sticking to his glamoured human form while in unfamiliar/familiar company.

But if he had to part with his newfound friends, then this was surely the way to do it! With a bang. 

Jake closed his YouTube window as the hits began pouring into his feed from any number of his 600k subscribers. The helicopter shook and the traveling marauders laughed with excitement, strengthening Jake's blood as he perked up. The helicopter was almost over the target. The repetitive _whump whump_ of the blades could be heard even over Jake’s headset. 

“Three minutes to the jump zone.” The pilot’s crackling voice spoke into Jake's ear through the headset. 

The guys with him, six in total, began packing up their gear and rechecking their parachute harnesses. Jake didn’t bother checking his straps. He could always fly if he suffered some kind of catastrophic chute failure. For him, skydiving posed zero risk. 

The same couldn’t be said for the others, not that Jake would ever let anything happen to one of them. He’d easily intervene even if it mean blowing his human cover. But the humans didn’t know that, and their fear and excitement was genuine. 

The humans’ adrenaline was like the finest of elixirs to Jake. Sharing this experience with them filled the hungry void lodged in his soul for a little while longer, kept the hunger sated and kept the black stains from forming around his eyes that even his magic couldn’t hide. 

“Sixty seconds.”

Rodgers threw open the side door of the helicopter and the wind rushed in, tearing its fingers through Jake’s hair as he slipped off his headset and stashed his laptop under his seat. He crowded close to the edge, watching the world spin below him from a place above the horizon. It was a sight he’d seen many times but the view still filled him with awe and excitement. 

There was nothing quite like the feeling in the air of six men about to jump out of an aircraft at twenty thousand feet with nothing but a bit of polyester to save them from the unforgiving surface of the planet. There was a snapping tension below the roar of the wind, an electric giddiness of sheer reckless abandon that Jake could never get enough of. 

“Who’s first?” The dive instructor asked, and Jake freighted fear at the words, seeking to go as close to last as possible so he could both keep an eye on each of his compatriots and absorb as much of the raw emotion in the air as possible.

“Feeling green, English?” Rodgers asked as Stark slapped him on the back. 

“I’d reckon not,” Jake answered, grinning, showing off the dimples that marked each cheek. “I’d say I have more dives under my belt than you.”

“And yet here you are, hanging back as always,” Stark said, brushing off the slight brag. “Why not go first this time?”

“Is this a race?” Jake asked, curious, yelling to be heard over the wind as he attached the GoPro to his headband. 

“Only if you want it to be,” Rodgers grinned at him, showing endearingly crooked teeth. 

“First one to the bottom then!” Jake crowed, bouncing on his toes. 

The words had the right effect- the men bolted out the door as one mass as the dive instructor joined them. The ecstatic screams only reached Jake’s ears for a single moment before the wind ripped them away, but the rush that accompanied the noise lingered in his flesh. 

Jake stood alone at the edge of the helicopter bay, watching the dots of his fellows fall away from him in streaks. He couldn’t help the smile that tore across his face as just for a moment his glamour flickered, revealing a too-wide smile and poison-green hair. Then the illusion of normalcy was back and Jake stepped off of the edge and let gravity take him. 

The demon might be able to fly, but why bother when falling was so much fun? If he could, Jake’d jump out of an aircraft every day for the rest of his life. The helicopter spun above him, the vibrating air of its blades quickly lost as Jake plummeted. The green Velt lay like a mossy blanket below him, the scars of river systems shining silver in the sunlight. He spread his arms as if to embrace the world, yelling until his throat was hoarse, wondering what could be better in life than this.  
…

 

It was always sobering to walk away from the friends he made on his adventuring, these six men had been through the thick and thin with him, but it was okay. He’d find more pathologically reckless humans to tag along with in his next location. 

Jake might have liked traveling the world, but he didn’t fancy doing it on his own. 

He boarded the plane at Port Harbor, this time not to jump out of it, and began his flight to Senegal. The Coral Triangle could wait- he’d heard back from his favorite band of anti-poaching wildlife defenders. They had a spot open for him on their next bush camp and Jake wasn’t going to let this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity pass him by. 

His newest video had already surpassed a million views and he spent the 11 hour flight fiddling with the GoPro footage from his last sky jump just to pass the time. Being a world famous YouTuber was time consuming and a bit pedantic at times, but he bore it well. 

That was, until he received a Pester from back home. It was from Jade, his de-facto mother figure and legal guardian. He’d been without service for a few days while climbing the icy summit of Aoraki and as soon as he had Wi-Fi the Pesters poured in.

Jake mostly just skimmed them. He picked out the important bits, such as Roxy’s first date with Jane- that was baller’s gold right there, and a long time in the making as well. He grinned and continued to scroll after shooting his closest friend a congratulatory message. 

He saw he had a few pesters in brilliant red text and he studiously ignored those. He could do for a few more hours without acknowledging the AI’s text. 

The orange text though…

Jake bit at his lips again as he hovered the mouse over the Pester. Later, he decided, moving his mouse away. Dirk could wait for him. 

Jade, it seemed, could not, as now that his icon was lit up with his activity she began streaming a line of new texts to him.

gardenGnostic (GG) began Pestering golgothasTerror (GT)!

GG: jake jake oh my god you’ve got to come home!  
GG: right now!  
GT: Really mum, do I have to?

Jake couldn’t help but ask. Nowadays he couldn’t pester his guardian without her asking him to visit. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Jade or didn’t like going home… there was just so much to do and see out here and he felt like he was missing out on it all whenever he was stuck at home.

Jade answered him back almost immediately. 

GG: i really mean it this time! something’s happened! we did it- we found dave!!!  
GT: Dave?  
GT: You actually found Dave?  
GG: yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jake had never really considered the ramifications of finding his mother’s soulmate’s nephew alive before, but a quick trip home certainly seemed appropriate given the circumstances. 

His pals in Africa would have to wait- family came first. 

GT: I’m currently on a plane to Dakar but I’ll hop the Atlantic as soon as I arrive. I can be in L.A by tomorrow.  
GG: that’s so good jake i’m so excited i can’t wait for you to meet him  
GT: So when did you find him? I’ve been without a signal for the past few days and I’m only just getting to your messages.  
GG: roxy found him after hal and dirk zeroed in on karkat’s name and address. he’s been right under our noses! both jane and dirk actually knew him in person this whole time, can you believe it?

The mention of Dirk’s name made an odd feeling squirm through Jake’s belly, but he ignored it much like he was ignoring the orange text still highlighted on his dashboard. 

GT: This is Dave, the incubus, right?  
GT: How did they not realize it was him?  
GG: he’s been very good at hiding himself is why. dave didn’t want to be found by anyone  
GT: But we did it alright- we found the bloke  
GT: That’s all we needed to do, right?  
GG: yes! you should just see d- he’s so excited and relieved that dave’s alive and mostly alright.  
GT: Mostly?  
GG: hes been through a lot lately and the felt are still hunting him, but now with our protection they can’t touch him. karkat helps too  
GT: That’s the fine fellow that Dirk found from the police tapes. Who is he?  
GG: well you know how me and d are soulmates?  
GT: so are karkat and dave  
GT: Golly, hes a bit young for that isn’t he?  
GG: not really. d’s just old to be finding me, not that I’m complaining in the least- id wait any amount of time for him  
GT: Mum, gross  
GG: well its true >:p  
GG: but you are coming home right?  
GT: Yes, I’ll be there as soon as possible. I promise.  
GG: and you won’t skip out as soon as you get here? its been months since we’ve seen each other.  
GT: I can’t promise for how long I’ll stay, but I won’t skip out on you mum- you know that  
GT: I don’t like making you wait on me all the time  
GT: I just cant stand to stay behind when theres still so much out there for me to do  
GG: i understand. this wandering is in your nature. i was prepared for this the moment I adopted you and ive never regretted it, ever  
GG: christ, all this stuff with d and dave have me in a real family feels mood  
GG: i just want you home for this, ok?  
GT: Ok  
GT: I’ll see you soon mum  
GT: I promise.  
GG: : D

golgothasTerror (GT) has become an Idle chum!

Jake set his slack hands on his keyboard. His lip was between his teeth again- he’d have to break that habit soon, but the gesture did make him feel better. The lights flashed overhead as the plane began to liftoff and Jake set to the complicated task of backing out of the adventure of a lifetime. The forest elephants would have to wait. 

He booked new plane tickets online as, predictably, the group chat lit up with some sort of new chaos. 

carcinoGeneticist (CG) was added to memo board [Strider-Harley-Lalonde Clan]!

CG: OKAY, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?

That was a fair question, though Jake reckoned this new chum had to be Dave. He watched with a keen interest as the conversation unfolded.

[Strider-Harley-Lalonde Clan] is an active memo!

TT: Hello Karkat, I thought that since you and Karkat are together it would only be right for you to have access to this group chat as well.  
CG: WHAT IS THIS? A FAMILY GROUP CHAT?  
TT: Basically, yes. 

Karkat then. Jake supposed if those two were soulmates it would do to include him into the group chat. That made sense. He didn’t want anyone to feel left out. 

Roxy was quick to answer back. 

TG: don’t forget that I’m here too lol! Cousin’s deff count as family ;)  
CG: HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE IN THIS THING?  
TT: Myself, you, Roxy, D, Jade, Dirk, Jake, and now Dave as well.  
TT: Wait.  
TT: Oh no.  
TG: you forgot to add dave didn’t you?  
TT: Leave me to my eternal shame while I quickly work to rectify this error.  
CG: WAIT I CAN PROBABLY ADD HIM QUICKER THAN YOU.

turntechGodhead (TG) has been added to the memo! 

CG: HA! I AM VICTORIOUS! HELLO DAVE.  
TG: uh  
TG: hi i guess?  
TG: seriously wtf is this

And there was Dave, right on time. Jake read the red text, so similar in shade to another chum of his. 

TT: It’s our family group chat. Welcome to where the madness happens.  
TG: one sec im backreading  
TG: holy shit  
TG: dirks on here? like dirk lalonde? I know that guy- hes a dj that likes to hang out at crew ran clubs like me  
TG: Yeah! Dirky’s family too! He’s my older bro  
TT: I’m still angry that I was left out of the big family meeting. Who made that dicision?  
TT: You did, remember? It was decided that the less people the better, both for risk reasons and to limit the degree of stress likely set on Dave.  
TT: Shit.  
TG: who are you?  
TT: That’s a long fucking story.  
TT: And its mostly bullshit. Hi, I’m Hal. Just Hal.  
TG: can I assume youre family too  
TT: That’s a pretty safe assumption considering the only person in this chat not at least distantly genetically or legally related to you is Karkat.  
TG: shit ive got more kin than i ever fuckin imagined  
TT: That’s a good thing, isn’t it?  
TG: its kinda… overwhelming  
TT: That’s why I thought adding you to the group chat was a good idea. This way you can interact with all of us in a sane, not-in-person way.  
TG: I woulsnt call us sane rose. Its chaos up in this bitch 27-4  
TG: 24-7 shit  
CG: OKAY. I’M GLAD THAT SOMEONE WAS THOUGHTFUL ENOUGH TO LET ME INTO THESE SECRET FAMILY SHENANIGANS.  
TG: wait a second whos jake ive never heard of him before

Jake nearly snorted out loud as he read the words, but then the full ramifications of the statement sank in and he only felt sorrow. Had no one ever clued the poor bloke in on Jake’s existence? Did they really think so little of him when he wasn’t there?

Jade jumped to his defense. 

GG: jake’s my technically not really-slash-adopted kid  
TT: We amoeba’d him into the family unit, single celled organism style. 

Okay that wasn’t quite right and he couldn’t let Jade get away with such a vast understatement. It was time to introduce himself. 

GT: Well it sounds rightly weird when you put it like that mum!  
GT: Howdy dave! I can’t wait to meet you in person but I’m a little across the pond at the moment so greetings from New Zealand :)  
GT: Sorry I couldn’t make it back to Maine on time with the rest of us  
GG: and when will you be coming back?

And there is was- Jade forcing him into accountability by making public his promise to return. 

GT: Soon.  
GT: I promise it this time. I’ll pop back for a visit before you know it  
TT: Jake….  
GT: I know I know I know  
GT: But enough about me! this is supposed to be about dave or am I mistaken?  
TT: Nice deflection there.  
GT: Shut it.  
TG: ok  
TG: this is really weird  
TG: like really really weird  
TG: but like a good weird  
TG: so  
TG: hi everyone- im dave and i think this conversation is years overdue

The conversation continued, but Jake wasn’t paying attention because at that moment a new window popped up on his browser. 

timaeusTestified2.0 (TT) began pestering golgonthasTerror (GT)!

TT: You’re ignoring us, aren’t you Jake? I know that you’re online.  
GT: I'm not ignoring anyone- I'm on a plane right now so cut me a little slack  
GT: I just got back to civilization  
TT: Dirk’s online too. I wonder why you haven’t bothered to try and answer him. Could it be because you are, in fact, ignoring us?  
GT: Well maybe im just trying to ignore you, you ever think of that Hal?  
TT: Ouch. I’m offended.  
GT: You’re not offended, you’re just an asshole.  
TT: Double ouch. You wound me Jake. I’m only trying to act in your best interest.  
GT: But you’re bothering me on Dirk’s command aren’t you? Why can’t he just man up and talk to me himself? I don’t need you trying to constantly act as a middleman.  
TT: Like I don’t hear this enough from Dirk, now I’m hearing it from you as well. Doesn’t anyone believe that I am doing the best I can because without me interfering neither of you two will ever actually talk to each other.  
GT: I’d promise to talk to him if you leave me alone but that’s just giving you want you want and this isn’t the kind of behavior I want to positively reinforce.  
TT: Well damn, Jake, you caught me. I am trying to force your hand into not ignoring Dirk before he loses his goddamn mind, sue me for having a fucking heart.  
TT: Oh, wait, I don’t have a heart.  
GT: Alright alright! I’ll talk to him, jesus.  
GT: And im not ignoring either of you, fyi, ive just been busy  
TT: But…  
TT: Nevermind. That’s not my business. I’ll let Dirk handle that.  
GT: What?  
TT: Good luck Jake.  
GT: Hold on what do you mean?

timaetusTestified2.0 (TT) had added timaeusTestified (TT) to the chat!

timaetusTestified2.0 (TT) has left the chat!

GT: DAMN YOU HAL!!!  
TT: I’m sorry? What has he done now?  
GT: Oh, dirk, it’s nothing. He’s just being an ass again.  
TT: You’re coming home soon?

Jake looked away, swallowing tightly as he glanced out of the plane’s window. For all that he’d promised Jade, he wanted to deny the fact now. If it wasn’t for Dave, he might have anyway. Jake set his fingers back to the keyboard.

GT: Yes. I’ll be there in less than 48 hours.  
TT: Where are you now?  
GT: I just took off from New Zealand and I’m stopping briefly in Senegal before heading to L.A.  
TT: You’re going to L.A?  
GT: yes, I know, but Jade can always jump me over as soon as I say greetings to her. mum just wants me home again  
TT: We all want you home, Jake. 

The unspoken words burned through the screen at him and Jake thought he’d make it through this until Dirk said,

TT: I miss you, you know, when you’re not here.

Jake looked away, his eyes watering as the flight attendant came down the aisle, smiling stiffly. 

“Laptop away please,” she said.

Jake looked at her. “I’m almost done,” he said, flashing her a hopeful smile to disguise the way he felt like crying. 

“I’m sorry, but laptops away, please,” she repeated, still smiling. 

He looked quickly back at his screen, noting Dirk’s new messages.

TT: I know that sounds sappy but its true. With you gone the only real company I have is Rose and Roxy. Hal as well but he’s constantly wired into me so that doesn’t count.  
TT: I…  
TT: I look forward to you being here again.

Jake had to answer him, the flight attendant’s face growing colder as the seconds passed. 

GT: Dirk, I’m sorry, but I’ve got to go.  
GT: I’ll talk to you later, okay? I’ll even see you soon.  
TT: Oh.  
TT: I won’t keep you here then. Bye, I guess.  
GT: Bye.

golganthasTerror (GT) has become an Idle chum!

Jake slapped his laptop closed and slid it back into his bag under the attendant’s watchful eye. She only walked on once the bag was out of sight. 

Jake let out the breath he’d been holding, full of nerves. He wanted to bang his head into the seat in front of him for how that conversation had ended. He’d buggered that right up. 

But at least he knew that Dirk wouldn’t hate him for it, much like how Jake could never hate Hal no matter how much the AI got on his nerves because Hal was a part of Dirk, and Jake could never bring himself to hate Dirk. 

He just wished that things between them could be easier. 

The plane reached cruising altitude in the colder reaches of the atmosphere, but the temperature outside the window couldn’t quite eclipse the growing bloom of heat in his chest at the idea of going home.


	2. chapter two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter two!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jake was on another plane to L.A after a nine hour layover in Dakar. The eleven hour flight across the Atlantic and full breadth of America was nothing but smooth sailing. Jake stuck to the third class seating. He enjoyed blending in with the other travelers and people watching the rest of the fliers. Humanity was a brilliant, colorful tapestry of woven of different people’s individual experiences that he couldn’t get enough of. 

And if a few people clapped when the plane touched down, what of it? It was just more of the joy of being mashed in with mankind. 

Getting back through customs was another matter. His international passport was unmarked for Daemon kind. Most countries didn’t have official listings for demon travelers but California had a pesky law that required non-humans to submit to a brief baggage search that was frankly just irritating. And insulting. His American ID did list him as a member of Daemon kind, though which type remained his own to tell. Or in his case- withhold. 

After TSA finished searching his bag, Jake was free to go. He had a few curious glances thrown his way- they probably thought he was Fae with a hidden fae-mark, his green eyes did help him blend in, or an Infrit with clipped and filed claws painted to look human. No one outside of his family knew that he was a Trickster. It wasn’t that he was against people knowing, it was just easier if they didn’t. 

The few times people had found out he was a demon, just a demon, not a Trickster, hadn’t exactly gone well. They’d looked at him differently, like he’d take something from them, and Jake hadn’t liked it one bit. He didn’t want people to be afraid of him. 

That and he had to consider the ramifications of an accidental outing affecting his work. YouTubing was his job, it’s how he afforded all of his globe-trotting. How would the wider masses react to learning what he really was?

So yes, it was easier to not let people know. 

Jake Ubered to D Strider’s mansion, reassuring the young bloke driving that Jake could get them past the tight security. It was an odd feeling, driving up the long, twisting drive to the mansion. This wasn’t his house. His home had been a green, leafy garden cottage with a vegetable garden out front and a pumpkin patch in the back. That’s how Jade had raised him. Now with that house gone Jake wasn’t quite sure where he fit in. 

In reflection the stark, glittering walls of the reinforced concrete semi-bunker looked like nothing welcoming, but it did look defensible, as if being hounded his entire life had made D paranoid about having neighbors. Not that Jake could exactly blame him. Jake had gotten off lucky with the whole demon thing. He, at least, could glamour himself into humanity. D had nowhere to hide except within his own self-projected personality that the media lapped up, fake as it was. 

That must be an exhausting existence. Jake was glad that he didn’t have to deal with it.

He tipped the driver well and carried his bags up the grand front steps. The massive door opened before Jake could knock and then his mother’s arms were around his neck.

“Hey, mum, calm down, it’s just me,” Jake laughed, embracing her back as Jade made a solid effort to squeeze the life out of him. 

“Jake!” Jade cried happily, her muscular arms still choking him in a way that would have been painful if he were human. “You’re here!”

“Yes, I’m here,” Jake agreed, hugging his mum with open arms. “Did you miss me?”

The cheeky words had the desired effect. Jade swatted at him, fake-scowling. “You know how much I missed you,” she said, sighing happily. “But no matter! You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”

A second person appeared soundlessly to stare at him through the open front door. Rose, her violet-shielded eyes grim as always with the solid inch on black eyeliner she wore. The Incubus nodded at him with a wide grin, her face happy in a way Jake had never seen before. 

“Jake,” Rose said, pleased. “I’m glad you’re back, and just in time too.”

“In time for what?” Jake asked curiously. “Dinner?” 

The hopeful note in his voice made Rose laugh. “No quite. We’re eating at Roxy’s tonight. Dave will be joining us.”

“Really?” Jake asked, surprised. “So I reckon I’ll get to meet him?”

“Duh,” Rose answered, rolling her eyes, secretly pleased. “Now come over here and give me a hug too.”

Jake complied, hugging the other demon. He hadn’t personally known Rose very long, only for year or so after Jade and D found each other and instantly fell in love. It had been a bit of a rush, but honestly Jake hadn’t been here for most of it. He’d been in Iceland at the time of their meeting but had of course flown back for the extremely private wedding. The Paparazzi hadn’t even known that D had been engaged until after it was over. 

“How was your flight?” Jade asked, magically shrinking his bags to make them easier to carry, snapping her fingers so that green fire flickered to life. Jake was well used to such easy displays of power. His mum used magic like other people used the telephone. 

“It was jolly,” Jake answered, shrugging. “I love flying, you know.”

The front door closed behind him. The mansion was brightly lit, the glass above him bulletproof. The grand staircase wound its way up to the second floor. Jade and Rose helped him settle into one of the plentiful guest rooms, a suite of some sort, blabbering all the while to catch him up to date on the goings-on of the place. He’d missed out on a lot of news while he was away. 

“And Roxy and Jane are together now, finally,” Rose said, rolling her eyes fondly as she regarded Jake. “And Dave and Karkat are disgustingly perfect for each other. You should see it for yourself; I feel like barfing sweetness anytime I’m within fifty feet of them. D and Jade were the same way when they first met as well. I suppose all soulmates are unfit for polite society until the hormones calm down.”

“But you and Kanaya are exempt from that rule, aren’t you?” Jade said teasingly, her hands on her hips. 

Jake wheeled around to face the Incubus.

Rose’s chees were colored red with embarrassment. “Yes, we are,” she somewhat snapped, pointedly not looking at Jake.

“Wait,” Jake said, a wild grin stretching across his face. “Who’s Kanaya?”

Rose was still Not Looking at him, but she was grinning too. “She’s… she’s Karkat’s adopted sister.”

“Scandelous!” Jake cried, seizing the opportunity to poke at her good-naturedly. “Karkat’s sister?”

“We met at the police station and have been Pestering each other ever since,” Rose said, sighing. “I’ve only met her the one time though. How can I be sure she’s the girl for me?”

“Isn’t she a vampire?” Jake asked curiously, eyes twinkling. 

“Yes, which is why I’m doubting us,” Rose said, sighing again. “There’s no recorded instances of an Incubus bonding with a non-human before. There’s no precedent.”

“Fuck precedent,” Jake said helpfully. He was so happy that he wanted to drop his glamor and hover in place, nearly vibrating with the feeling, but he held onto the innate magic that disguised him. Technically here, in this place, there was no reason to wear his mask, and yet…

He’d never been in his natural form around Rose before. He didn’t want to scare her with the sudden change. 

“I agree with Jake,” Jade declared. “Fuck precedent.”

Jake smiled at his mother and she magicked his bags back to their normal size so that he could unpack.

Jade winked at him in return. “Dinner’s in two hours,” she said, “I’ll jump us over then.”  
…

 

Jake easily unpacked in those two hours. He was used to travelling light and only really carried what he could fit on his back. 

The time passed quickly, and Jake appeared downstairs again for the dinnertime jump with seconds to spare. Rose was dressed too nicely in a short black dress, but Jade made Jake feel better about wearing his normal attire. His mum wore a simple blue blouse. 

“Where’s D?” Jake asked, not spotting the older demon.

“Here,” the Incubus came around the corner, pulling loose his tie and throwing it onto the velvet couch. He ran his fingers through his disheveled white hair. “How do I look?”

“Perfect,” Jade said softly, shooting him a fond glance. “But you’re still late.”

“Not by much,” D retorted, grinning. 

“Get in here,” Jade rolled her eyes, reaching for his hand. 

Jake linked fingers with Jade’s right hand as Rose claimed his left. 

“Here we go!” Jade said, her eyes crackling with green fire an instant before Jake felt his hair stand on end, and then the floor vanished from under his feet as Jade teleported them from Los Angeles to New York City. He landed with good balance, stepping forward to keep Rose from staggering.

“There, there,” Jake said as Rose clung to him. “It’s easy once you get the hang of it.”

“I’m fine,” Rose said, recovering quickly.

D looked like he was going to throw up for all of three seconds, then his million-dollar smile was back in place. “Roxy, hi.”

That was all the warning Jake got before he was tackled into a wall by a shrieking shorter girl with pink eyes. “Jake!” Roxy cried, grabbing at him. “You’re here!”

“Yes, I’m here,” Jake laughed breathlessly, his heart giving a tight squeeze. “I did say I’d be here, didn’t I?”

“Yes, but—” Roxy cut herself off before continuing, shaking her head. “Nevermind, that doesn’t matter now. You’re here!” She buried her face into his chest, getting mascara on his shirt. 

“Easy,” he laughed again, prying her off. “Did you really miss me that much?”

“Yes?” Roxy voiced it as a question, blinking at him. 

Jake instantly felt guilty. Roxy was so good at making him regret staying away for so long. 

“The food’s ready,” Roxy said brightly, skipping down the hallway. “I’ll let the others know you’re here.”

It hit Jake then that Dirk was somewhere in this house. After months of being apart, Dirk was so close to him. 

It wasn’t a good feeling. Nerves squirmed like snakes in his belly. He had a lot to answer for. 

Jake followed Roxy down the hall, his family trailing behind him. The small dining room was set to its maximum occupancy, mismatched chairs shoved up under the long table to make room for everyone. It looked cozy. 

Jake stopped in the doorway, his eyes instantly drawn to the pair of strangers seated at the table. On was shorter, with wild, wind-tossed dark locks and eyes like chocolate stones. The other was an Incubus.   
Dave and Karkat looked at him, their faces showing equal amounts of interested curiosity. 

Jake felt himself break into a smile as he pulled his glamour tighter around him. “Hello,” he said, “I reckon you’re Karkat and Dave. I’m Jake—Jake English.” He first went to shake hands with Karkat, then with Dave.   
Meeting the other demon for the first time felt like basking in the wake of an active volcano. It was only with D and Rose that Jake had ever met a more powerful demon than him before, and Dave was the same type of demon as them. It made sense that they’d feel the same.

But that wasn’t so. 

Dave felt different from D, obnoxiously bright, or Rose’s dark strength. Shaking hands with Dave felt like glimpsing the underside of a hurricane in a bottle. Jake could have sworn he saw the gleam of red eyes even with the dark shades he wore. It made his skin crawl with danger, but Dave was smiling shyly at him even with that degree of power lurking under his skin. 

Jake couldn’t understand it at first. Why was Dave so much more powerful than his family? Then he remembered that Dave was a Hellbreaker who had been through the unimaginable. He must have been tempered by the very hellfire he’d escaped. 

“I’m glad to finally meet you,” Dave said, clearly missing Jake’s brief internal meltdown. 

“Me as well,” Jake gulped, still shaking his hand. It was getting awkward now- he should have let go long ago but here he was, still shaking Dave’s hand. Jake forced himself to stop.

Karkat was giving him a suspicious look but Jake thought that might just have been his resting expression. “Jade’s elusive son, home at last.”

Jake felt his expression tighten at the mention of home. Was that really true? He hid his confusion with another grin. “Yeah, I like to travel,” he said, then asked curiously. “Have you ever been anywhere interesting?” he asked, hoping to find some comradery with the fellow. 

“Nope,” Karkat said flatly. 

Dave shrugged. “Hell,” he said, clearly trying to make a joke out of it. “Not sure if that one counts though.”

Jake kept his face frozen to avoid wincing at the reminder. 

Karkat swatted at him, exasperated. “Stop that,” he said as Dave ducked with a smile. “I thought we agreed no more Hell jokes?”

“My doctor says that’s a natural part of the healing process,” Dave argued. “You wouldn’t want to slow my growth, would you?”

Karkat rolled his eyes and regarded the demon fondly, clearly infatuated. “No, I wouldn’t want that,” he grudgingly admitted. 

“See?” Dave wagged his eyebrows at Jake. “I’m always right.”

“Wrong,” Karkat protested. 

“Nope,” Dave said, smirking, popping his lips on the ‘p’. 

“Guys,” Rose said, exasperated. “Can’t you keep it together for all of five minutes?”

“No,” They said as one, then giggled about it. 

Roe had been right- they were disgustingly perfect for each other. Even Rose looked swayed by the gooey display. 

Karkat jerked his chin at the open door to his left. “Kanaya’s in the living room,” he said, eyeing Rose. “Do not break her heart.” It was an order. 

Rose dipped her head. “I don’t think that’ll be an issue,” She said lightly, sashaying from the room in pursuit of her girlfriend to Roxy’s cat whistle. 

Jake felt himself vibrating with waiting. Where was Dirk hiding? Was he avoiding Jake the same way Jake was avoiding him?

“Alright everyone!” Roxy called out. “Dinner time!” She snapped her fingers and the food appeared on the table, still steaming. Jane appeared in the doorway, summoned by the announcement of all her hard work being ready, apron still in place. 

“Nice work,” Jade complemented, sliding into an open chair as D took a seat by Dave. 

Roxy sat at the head of the table as Rose and a tall, elegant vampire who must have been Kanaya entered the room. Kanaya’s skin was lit from within, glowing warmly as she smiled softly at Rose, who blushed and looked quickly away. 

Jake didn’t ask, but Roxy answered him anyway. “Dirk’s running late,” she said, sympathy swimming in her eyes. “He told me not to wait up.”

“Oh,” Jake sighed, crestfallen. “Well, where is he?”

“In his room, working on a project,” Roxy answered unwillingly, which Jake translated to mean pouting.

“Okay,” Jake said, swallowing his disappointment. “That’s fine.”

The words fell flat and unconvincing, but the meal started anyway. The food was fantastic even if with everyone in pairs Jake felt like he was third-wheeling a quad-date. But the chicken was heavenly, which made up for a lot. 

But not everything. The empty chair left hopefully open for Dirk stayed empty. 

The meal went swimmingly. Dave and Karkat made good company and Jake got to regale them with tales of his trips around the globe. Dave was quiet when he wasn’t messing with Karkat or answering one of Rose’s questions, but Jake still picked up good vibes from him. The Incubus seemed an alright fellow even with the scars that Jake could see peeking out of his sleeves and bisecting one pale eyebrow. 

Jake quickly decimated his plate and went back for seconds. He’d heard that Jane was a great cook but by God, this was next level shit. After eating out of cans for the past few weeks this degree of home cooking was a delightful full system shock.

Dessert was served, a four layer sugared cake that Jake’s insatiable sweet tooth commanded he eat three slices of.

“Hey, Jake,? Roxy said, leaning over to him and batting her eyelashes at the empty chair he was still set on ignoring. “Since Dirk never showed up, why don’t you take him a plate? We can’t have him skipping dinner like this.”

Dammit. Was his longing that easy to read?

“Okay,” Jake said, his voice trembling slightly as he agreed. “He’s in his room, right?”

“You know where it is,” Roxy nodded at him, her smile sad. Jane heaped up a pile of fod onto he empty plate in Dirk’s place and handed it to him.

Jake nodded at the girls as he headed off, the platter of food held before him as he retraced his way through the twisting house until he opened what looked like a closet and instead found a door that led to the basement. 

“Dirk?” Jake called out, knocking with his heart in his throat. “Dirk, mate, are you down here?”

The stairs down into the depths were wide and comfortable even if the lighting was off. That didn’t bother Jake- he could see in the dark. What bothered him was the thought that Dirk was lurking somewhere alone down here, seething with the lights cut off. 

That couldn’t be a good sign. 

“I brought food,” Jake said hopefully, and then he spotted Dirk seated at his workbench, illuminated by a single lamp and surrounded by bits of machinery and wiring. His head was tilted downwards, the line of his shoulders tense as he fiddled with whatever was in his hands. 

Jake had seen Dirk working on projects before. He knew that single-minded focus Dirk could go into and this wasn’t it. Dirk was spiraling. Jake could sense it from across the room, the hungry pit inside him pulling at the apathy in the air. It wasn’t often that Jake felt a low like this; he was more used to feeding off of highs, but the feeling was unmistakable. 

“Go away,” Dirk said, not looking at him. “I’m not hungry.”

“Dirk,” Jake pleaded, coming closer, the plate held like an offering between them. “I just wanted to see you.”

“Well… you have,” Dirk snapped at him emotionlessly, his face expressionless even with the bite in his voice. “Now you’re free to leave.”

“Dirk,” Jake protested, setting the late on the far end of Dirk’s desk. “You know I can’t have that. Just let me help you.”

“No,” Dirk said.

“Dammit, Dirk,” Jake sighed, running his fingers through his hair with frustration. “Why can’t we just talk? We need to talk.”

“Fine,” Dirk said, finally looking at him. His shades blocked his eyes but Jake could see the glint of red through the dark glass that meant Hal was watching him. 

“Alone,” Jake said firmly. He didn’t want the AI spying on them. 

“We can’t be alone down here,” Dirk said, grinning wryly. “Too many cameras.” He tapped the corner of his glasses. “Whatever you can say to me, you can say to him.”

Couldn’t Dirk see that was part of the problem?

Jake came closer and saw a familiar tab pulled up on Dirk’s computer. He’d been watching Jake’s latest video on Mount Aoraki. The Trickster’s throat felt tight. 

“What do you want me to say?” Jake asked gently. 

“I have no idea,” Dirk said, shrugging. “It’s not like we were ever together, you know. You’re allowed to just walk away. You don’t need to act like you care.”

This really wasn’t good. “Dammit,” Jake frowned and reached out to him. He set his hand lightly on Dirk’s shoulder and focused on pulling all that awful sadness out of him. It took a good moment- there was a lot of choking stillness to wade through, but Jake was still able to get rid of most of it before Dirk flinched and threw his hand off.

“Fuck you,” Dirk spat, more energy to his voice now. “Can’t you just let me suffer?”

Jake sat beside him, twisting his fingers together. “No, mate, I can’t,” he answered, shrugging. 

“Damn you, that feels better though,” Dirk admitted rolling the stiffness from hunching over his work desk out of his shoulders. “My head’s clear again.”

“That’s kind of the point, isn’t it?” Jake said. “I know you can’t think well with that nastiness clogging your psyche.”

“Did you just call my baseline personality nasty?” Dirk asked, raising on thin eyebrow. 

“No, I called your penchant for crippling bouts of depression nasty,” Jake clarified. “I don’t like what it does to you when you let it get this bad.”

“I don’t let it do anything,” Dirk grumbled, scrubbing at his eyes as he pulled off his shades and set them on the desk. His ocher eyes glared balefully at Jake, their color washed out in the glow from the lamplight. “I didn’t ask you to help.”

“I know,” Jake answered, shrugging again. “Can we talk anyway? I feel like we need to.”

“I don’t see why that’s a good idea,” Dirk admitted, looking away. “I thought you made up your mind when you left me.”

The words were an accusation that Jake had no answer to. He remembered the moment in fine detail, sharp as a photograph in his mind. Dirk, leaning in, his hand warm on Jake’s thigh, his lips parted as his eyes flickered closed. 

And then Jake had pulled away and ran straight to the airport and was gone for six months. 

Jake fought to find the right words to say. “It wasn’t fair, what I did to you,” he said. “Running like that. But we’d grown so fucking close and I… I missed you every second I was away.”

Dirk groaned. “Six months,” he said. “You were gone for six fucking months. You can’t come back here and say things like that to me, not after what happened.”

“I didn’t mean to snub you when you said you’d missed me,” Jake explained, rushing his words. “I know that it took courage for you to admit that, and I never meant to sign off so bloody soon, but the flight attendant was hovering at me to put the damn laptop away. I simply ran out of time.”

“But you’ve been avoiding me,” Dirk accused him, the hurt evident in his tone. “I Pestered you almost every single day. You never once answered.”

Jake thought back to the pages of unread orange text still in his inbox. The guilt gnawed at him. “I know,” he admitted. “I was ignoring you. Hal was exactly right when he accused me of it.”

“Why?” Dirk asked.

What was there to say? That Jake had felt for all of three seconds genuine affection and it had scared him shitless? That dating Dirk was an uphill battleground he wasn’t ready to fight? That he wasn’t done seeing the world yet and couldn’t stand the idea of being tied down?

What he said was, “I fucked up.”

Dirk said, “I know.”

“Forgive me?”

Dirk stared at him, studying him with his eyes bare. The glasses beeped from the table as Hal presumably pitched a fit but Dirk ignored him. His eyes were only for Jake. 

“Can we take this slow?” Jake asked. “Can you forgive me for being such a bloody coward?”

“What was it that scared you off?” Dirk asked at last. He leaned back, away from Jake. “It makes sense that you ran if you were scared. That I can accept, so what caused it?”

“Myself,” Jake answered unwillingly. “It’s complicated. I don’t know if I have all the words for it yet.”

Dirk only grunted in response. 

“Believe me?” Jake asked, pleading for him to understand. 

One side of Dirk’s mouth quirked up in a wry, self-depreciating grin. Jake wasn’t sure he liked the way it looked on Dirk, but then Dirk said, “I do,” and things didn’t seem so bad anymore.


	3. chapter three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hecky yee New chapter!

They took things slow. 

GT: Do you want to hang out tonight? We can watch a movie or something else equally enthralling.  
TT: I can’t, I’m busy tonight.  
TT: Why don’t we take a raincheck on that?  
GT: Alrighty! Sounds fine :)  
…

GT: Dirk?  
TT: Yeah?  
GT: Are you still busy?  
TT: Yes.  
TT: Sorry.  
GT: Okay, I’ll stop bothering you.  
TT: You’re not bothering me, I just really need to concentrate on this project.  
GT: Okay. What is it?  
TT: I can’t say yet. It might not work out and I don’t want anyone to get their hopes up about it.  
GT: Oh. Okay. I’ll leave you to it then.  
…

GT: Dirk?  
TT: Can’t, sorry.  
GT: Oh.  
GT: Sorry then, mate.  
…

Jake couldn’t help but shake the idea that they were taking things too slow. He hadn’t even seen Dirk since that night. The distance was driving him crazy. 

He also couldn’t help but notice that every time they chatted online he’d been the one to initiate the chat, never Dirk. Was he bothering Dirk? Was Dirk just too busy with his mystery project to talk with him?  
Or was Dirk giving him a taste of his own medicine? Jake guiltily opened and read the months of backlogged chats he hadn’t bothered to read. Dirk had started by Pestering him every day, but by the end they’d slaked off to once a week as Dirk gave up hope. 

It was a painful reminder of how badly Jake had treated him. Maybe he deserved this silent cold shoulder. 

But Jake couldn’t shake the idea that Dirk wasn’t petty enough to act like this on purpose. Dirk could be emotionally dense, sure, but not willfully malevolent. 

Or maybe Dirk knew exactly what he was doing because Jake had pressured him into agreeing to start over. What if Dirk didn’t really want him like that?

Jake eyed the rows of fading orange messages in his inbox, the last one from two days ago. What if Dirk had moved on?

Jake looked up from his screen. D’s guest bedroom Jake had moved into was dark. He’d kept the lights off all day due to the sunlight that streamed in through the bay windows, but the sun had set an hour ago and cast the room in shadow. 

Jake blinked, his eyes quickly adjusting to the darkness under the square-framed glasses he didn’t need. There was a floor-length mirror across from him, mounted on the wall by the walk-in closet. Jake caught his reflection staring at him. 

A sudden, crippling thought struck him. What if Dirk wasn’t okay with Jake being a demon? What if the fact that he wasn’t human was the thing that kept driving this great invisible wedge between them?

Jake moved off of the bed, staring intently at himself in the mirror. He walked closer until he could reach out and touch the cool glass. He studied his glaumored reflection, taking note of the details. Black hair that matched Jade’s, eyes just a hint darker in shade than his mother’s. It was clear which human he’d imprinted his disguise on- he could have easily been related by blood to his adopted mother. His jawline was strong, his shoulders broad… but this wasn’t the real him. This wasn’t what he actually looked like. 

He removed his glasses first, doing away with the useless frames. He set them on the bedspread behind him. Jake let his glamor drop with a shudder, releasing the magic that blanketed him. His eyes turned neon, his hair grew poison-green. His skin flushed deathly white, his smile too-wide and toothy to ever be mistaken for human as his feet lifted off the ground. Green spirals like brands marked both cheeks, the sign of Trickster demons everywhere. 

Jake looked at himself in the mirror, hovering a few inches. Damn, it felt good to fly again. After the instinctive high of wearing his true skin wore off the uncanny smile receded into an uncommon frown. Apart from the over-saturated colors and glowing eyes, he didn’t look that bad. Certainly not monstrous or anything… just not human. 

Jake studied himself closely, trying to spot the differences. His face was still recognizably his own, his hair done in the same style and cut. His teeth, through sharper, were still noticeably, endearingly crooked.  
Jake still looked like himself. Would that be enough? He reached out to touch the glass and the demon in the mirror copied the motion, lifting its hand to brush fingers with his own. There was a tight lump in Jake’s throat. It hurt to swallow. 

There was an unexpected knock at the door. Light pierced the room as Rose opened the door without bothering for a reply. “Jake?” She asked, flinging open the door. “Are you in here? I was wondering if—Oh.”

Panicked, Jake drug his glamor back around him as his feet hit the floor. “Rose!” He said, fully disguised, wringing his hands with stress. “I… I didn’t, well, you see-”

“Jake,” Rose said gently, her eyes gleaming red at him from behind her contacts. “You don’t need to hide from me.”

Jake nearly swallowed his own tongue. He didn’t know what to do or say.

The other demon slipped into the room and closed the door behind her. “What were you doing?” Rose asked curiously. “I saw you touching the mirror.”

Jake tried to hide his discomfort. “I was, er… looking.”

“At yourself?” Rose asked, drifting over to take a seat. 

“Yes. What of it?” Jake asked, trying to brush off the issue as he coughed past the lump in his throat. 

Rose didn’t let him go that easily. “Are you having issues with your glamour?”

“No,” Jake said, unwillingly.

“Then maybe you’re having a sudden realization of inner self?” Rose asked, her eyes gleaming again.

“I don’t think so,” Jake answered. “People don’t go having those often, do they?”

“Depends,” Rose said, shrugging as she stared closely at him. “Or is this about Dirk?”

Jake’s face was too expressive to hide his reaction to that. 

Rose’s expression was smug. “Did I strike a nerve?” she asked, looking both excited and saddened. 

“Maybe,” Jake admitted, unwilling to lie to her. “Dirk, he’s… I think he’s ignoring me.” He sank down onto the bed again, a few feet across from where Rose occupied the chair. 

Rose gazed sadly at him. “What made you come to this conclusion?”

“No,” Jake said, realizing what was going on. “You’re not going to pull your bloody therapist sctick on me.”

Rose simply raised her eyebrows. “Is that really what I’m doing?” She asked logically. “I thought I was just helping a friend.”

The admittance did make the situation seem better. “Can you do that?” Jake asked, rubbing at his chin with nerves. “Do you really think you can help me out?”

“I can try to,” Rose said. “Now why don’t you tell me what’s wrong?”

“This still feels weird,” Jake muttered, warming to the idea of going to the only other person who might understand what he was going through. Surely if anyone could sympathize it would be Rose. “Well,” Jake began uncertainly. “I reckon he’s ignoring me because he keeps blowing off my messages, doesn’t want to see me, and hasn’t once reached out to start a conversation. That’s always me reaching out to bother him and not the other way around.”

“Why do you say bother?” Rose asked. “How can you be sure that you’re bothering him?”

“Because he’s been going on and on about this mystery project that’s taking up all his time,” Jake explained, waving his hands for emphasis. “He says he so busy with it that he can’t even take a break to talk to me for four fucking seconds.”

“So he has a viable excuse for not devoting his time to you,” Rose said, her eyes cool and calm as she studied him. “Could it be that you are demanding time from him that he doesn’t want to give you?”

“Maybe,” Jake said, growing frustrated. “That’s why I’m so chiggered about this. I don’t know what to expect with him or know where our boundaries are.”

“That’s why open communication is so important in a relationship,” Rose told him, shaking her head. “But if he keeps brushing you off, there might be something else in play.”

“Like what?” Jake asked.

Rose just looked at him. “Tell me why you were looking at yourself like that in the mirror.”

Jake flushed red with embarrassment. “It’s stupid,” he muttered, unwilling to reply.

Rose’s keen ears easily caught the muttered words. “I don’t think it is,” she said. “Jake, you already know why you did what you did.”

“I thought,” Jake began shakily, “I thought that maybe the problem was me. That Dirk didn’t… want me, because I wasn’t human.” The admittance tore through his soul on the way out, crippling with the level of self-doubt and unworthiness it brought with it. 

The young Incubus smiled gently at him, her eyes glowing. “Unless Dirk is secretly a bigoted fuck, I don’t think that’s the answer.”

It did sound stupid when said aloud, but what if that were true? “Are you sure?” he asked. “What if that’s not it, but he just won’t like me in my natural form? He’s never seen me unglamoured before. What if I scare him away?”

Rose winked at him. “I don’t think that’ll happen,” she said smugly. “Remember, I grew up with Dirk. I know him better than most people. I don’t think he’ll shirk at seeing what you really look like.”

“Then how do I fix this?” Jake asked, desperate to know.

“Go to him,” Rose told him, the words an order. “Tell him what you’re feeling. Don’t let him brush you off until you have an actual answer out of him. I know he’s Dirk and he’ll admit to a dozen worthless things before accepting his own emotions, but you need to get through to him.”

“You think he still cares?” Jake asked, feeling miserable. “I might have driven him away for good.”

“You won’t know until you talk to him,” Rose explained gently. “And besides, I don’t think there’s a great possibility of that happening. He wouldn’t shut up about you while you were gone.”

Jake smiled a small grin, feeling slightly better. “Alright,” he said, decided. “I’ll go talk to him.”

“Okay,” Rose said, standing to stretch out her legs after sitting in the chair for so long. She left the room, looking back at him one last time. “Jake?”

“Yeah?”

“I think you can do this.”

Jake looked away. “I sure hope so.”  
…

 

Later that night he Pestered Dirk again.

golgothasTerror (GT) began pestering timaeusTestified (TT) at 9:33pm!

GT: Dirk?  
GT: Dirk, are you there mate?

timaeusTestified (TT) is an Idle chum!

GT: No blast it you’re not going to get rid of me that easily.  
GT: DIRK!  
GT: Strider I swear if you don’t get over here and talk to me right now I’ll-

timaeusTestified (TT) has BlockedgolgothasTerror (GT) 

Jake froze with his hands still on the keyboard to his laptop. Dirk had blocked him. He couldn’t believe it as a sinking, cold feeling settled into his gut.

An instant later he received a new notification. 

timaeusTestified2.0 (TT) began Pestering golgothasTerror (GT) at 9:37pm!

TT: Dear god he’s really done it now.  
TT: Jake, before you instantly block me just know that im reaching out to you for help.  
TT: Its Dirk, he’s…  
GT: Blocked me? I don’t get it. what did I do wrong?  
TT: Jesus Christ don’t ever give me an opening like that ever again- especially when I can’t take the time to capitalize on it.  
TT: Things are kind of getting desperate around here and I think I need you to come by. Immediately.  
TT: It’s about Dirk.  
GT: what about him? I thought he just made it quite plain that he doesn’t want to see me!  
TT: Jake don’t be an idiot- of fucking course he wants to see you. He’s just so tied up in his own fucking ego and panic right now that he can’t rationalize anything outside of the project he’s obsessing over.  
TT: And I think this has gone on long enough, so Jake, if you please, come by and save him before he does something incredibly stupid.  
GT: You’ve let him do stupid things before. What makes this time any different?  
TT: …  
TT: I just learned a little secret he’s been keeping from me and now I’m kind of freaking the fuck out about it. It’d be easier to show you than explain, so just get over here as quickly as you can.  
GT: Well shit.  
GT: Uh,  
GT: Okay. I can be there later tonight as soon as Jade and D get back from the office showing of his latest movie. You know I can’t say no to seeing Dirk agai, especially if he’s in some sort of trouble.  
GT: He;s not in trouble is he?  
TT: Oh I’d say he is.  
TT: Big trouble.  
GT: Dammit. What’d he do this time?  
TT: I can’t say. I’m breaking a promise to him now just to talk to you about coming over here. He’s imposed this stupid silence order over everything involved in his project, which is probably why he blocked you btw.  
TT: Look, have I EVER asked yo for help before?  
GT: Er, no?  
TT: Well I am now. So please, help him.  
GT: I’ll do all I can.  
TT: Thank you.  
GT: Actually, I think I hear Jade and D returning now. I can be there in a few minutes.  
TT: Thank god- I’ll see you in a few.

timaetusTestified2.0 (TT) has become an Idle chum!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like this is mostly just back and forth dialogue but it sets up the next bits nicely so it'll have to do


	4. chapter four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New Chapter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!

It took little convincing to get his mum to jump him over to Roxy’s for the rest of the night. 

Roxy let him in the front door, looking unsurprised and relieved. “He’s in the basement,” was all she said. “I haven’t been able to get him to leave in days.”

That wasn’t a good sign. 

The stairs down into the basement were as welcoming as always, but at least this time the lights were on. 

Dirk was seated at his workbench again, not expecting company and clearly absorbed in his work. Unlike before when Dirk had been listless and mopey, he was now driven and focused, completely obsessed with whatever it was he was working on.

“Dirk?” Jake asked, walking cautiously forward. 

Dirk’s head snapped up to meet his gaze, shocked. “Jake?” he asked, blinking into the light. “What are you doing here?” It sounded like an accusion. It certainly wasn’t warm and fuzzy. 

Jake felt dejected at once. “Hal called in the calvary,” Jake said. “He asked me to stop by.”

“The bastard,” Dirk muttered, then said louder, “You hear that Hal, you bastard?”

Red words lit up on Dirk’s monitor. 

TT: I hear you loud and clear, no need to yell.  
TT: Before you get all pissed, just remember exactly what little detail you neglected to inform me of.

Dirk raised both hands to his face and scrubbed at his eyes. His shades were hooked into the neckline of his shirt and without them he looked exhausted. “Hal,” Dirk began patiently.

TT: No Dirk, don’t you fucking dare. You have to take responsibility for this, as in i.fucking e, don’t do this.  
TT: Please. I take it back- I take it all back! Please, just stop. You don’t need to do this.

“Hal?” Jake voiced out loud, unused to talking to the AI like this. “What are you talking about?”

TT: Tell him, Dirk. Tell him or I swear to god I will, promise or not. You broke any right to secrecy when you lied to me. 

“Motherfucker,” Dirk hissed, irate. It was more emotion than Jake was used to seeing from him. “Don’t make me turn you off until I’m finished.”

The threat made Jake suck in his breath. Dirk wouldn’t do that, ever, would he?

TT: You wouldn’t fucking dare.

“You wanna call that bluff? Really?” Dirk asked, still ignoring Jake. 

“Dirk,” Jake tried, pulling his attention away from his brother before things escalated. “What’s going on? Why did Hal call me over here?”

“Because he’s an overdramatic little fucker,” Dirk said, wringing his hands together. “You shouldn’t have come. You don’t need to be here.”

“Like hell I don’t,” Jake growled, the noise startlingly real. It had zero effect on Dirk though. “I’m sick of this, do you fucking hear me? I’m sick of being brushed to the side.”

“Yeah, I bet that just sucks, doesn’t it?” Dirk nearly spat at him, his eyes gleaming. 

Jake reeled back, stunned by the bitterness in Dirk’s voice. “Dirk…”

“Don’t start,” Dirk said, turning away. “I’m very busy. I’m trying to do a good thing here, no matter what Hal would have you believe.”

“Then what are you doing?” Jake asked, curious and hoping to trap Dirk into a conversation. 

“I can’t say,” Dirk predictably answered. 

Jake ground his teeth together in frustration. 

TT: I warned you, Dirk.  
TT: He’s trying to build me a body. 

“Oh,” Jake said, shocked. “But I thought you couldn’t do that yet, not until you found a Sedim demon powerful and trustworthy enough to pull such a thing off.”

Dirk shot his computer a venomous look, seething. “We couldn’t, then we found out about Gamzee.”

Who? “And that’s?” Jake asked, trailing off the question.

“Dave’s fellow Hellbreaker,” Dirk answered unwillingly. “He’s apparently not only the most powerful Sedim demon out there, but according to Dave he’s trustworthy as fuck.”

Jake blinked, leaning closer until he could look behind Dirk to see the blueprints painstakingly sketched out across his work desk. Something mechanically organic, the perfect blend of machine and human. The intricate designs were flawless, unlike the illegible handwriting beside them. He was looking at a layout of a hand, each finger detailed in a way that was mind boggling. 

“Did you draw all of these?” Jake asked, intrigued. 

“I’m running the hardware while Hal works on the software,” Dirk explained, softening a bit as he looked back at his work.

No wonder he’d been cooped up here for days! This was big news! There’d been talk about building Hal a body almost since the day of the AI’s creation. But then, why was Hal so adamant about stopping this?“So what’s the little detail you’re leaving out?” Jake asked him. “What’s the thing that’s making Hal reject this idea?”

Dirk sighed. “It’s nothing,” he said. “I just had a little chat with Gamzee about the price of a deal like this. The results were expected.”

“What’s the price?” Jake asked, knowing how Sedim demons worked. 

“You don’t want to know,” Dirk said. 

“Hal?” Jake asked, his voice hard. 

TT: No, I actually agree with Dirk on this. You don’t want to know, except for the one caveat that was kept from me.  
TT: Shall you do the honors Dirk, or shall I?

“What’s the price?” Jake asked, growing scared now. “Please don’t tell me it’s something awful like five years off your life.”

Dirk didn’t flinch. “It’s not time off my life,” he said, sitting down. “There’s two things that go into it.”

What could match the price for a human body? Even if this Gamzee wasn’t trying to fuck them over, there were so many ways this could go wrong. 

“Then what is it?” Jake asked seriously. 

“Are you sure?” Dirk asked, sounding scared. “I don’t want you to look at me differently after I do this.”

“Dirk, for bloody sake I’m a fucking Trickster. There is nothing that would ever make me look at you differently for,” Jake said, adamant. 

“Dreams,” Dirk answered too fast, like he already regretted it. “I’ll never dream again. I’m trading away my ability to dream.”

“Oh, Dirk….” Jake said, reaching for him. To give so much for Hal, it was astonishing. Dirk was capable of so much love, so much good, if only he were willing to see it like that. Jake’s heart felt full. “That’s the price?”

“Half of it,” Dirk muttered, leaning into his touch. “The other part’s what has Hal pissed. I kept it from him until yesterday.”

“Why?” Jake asked, growing worried again. What could be worse than losing the ability to dream?

Dirk’s eyes flickered closed. He took a deep breath. “A splinter of my soul,” he said slowly, watching Jake. “That’s the final ingredient to make this body work- part of a real human soul.”

“That’s black magic trading,” Jake protested weakly. “That’s illegal.”

“The law only covers trades of whole souls, extorted,” Dirk answered, him. “My deal is only for part of mine, willingly given.”

Jake looked at the computer with accusation. 

TT: I swear I didn’t know, not until I was looking at the blueprints again and going over the code and realized something was missing. That’s it- That’s what was missing- A piece of Dirk’s actual soul.  
TT: If that’s the cost of gaining a body then I don’t want it. The price is too high! 

“Hal,” Dirk said sharply. “Cut it out. We’ve been over this.”

TT: Like hell we have. I can’t let you do this.

Jake quickly took the AI’s side, a first for him. His heart was pounding in his chest. “Dirk, your brother’s right. This is madness.”

Dirk was still rubbing at his eyes, and when he stopped he flicked open his shades and slid them back in place, probably to try and get his and Hal’s fight to be not so public. 

It didn’t work.

TT: Jake, I can’t stop him or make him see sense. Help me, please.  
TT: Don’t let him do this. 

“How bad can a splintered soul really be?” Dirk argued right back, fast-paced and desperate. “I’ll be fine. Gamzee promised that I won’t even be able to tell the difference afterwards. He just needs a piece to jumpstart Hal’s consciousness.” 

That part made an awful degree of sense. The AI didn’t have a soul of his own. Hal, for all that Jake and everyone else thought of him as a person, existed only as a computer program that maintained its own intelligence. For as human as he seemed, Hal wasn’t human at all. 

This plan meant to change that. Of fucking course the Sedim needed part of a real human soul. That’s how these deals worked. 

Jake felt exhausted. It wasn’t a good feeling. “Dirk,” he said. “I know you. I know how you can dig in your heels and choose your hill to die on. Please tell me that at least you’ve thought about what this might mean in the long term.”

Dirk’s chin dipped sharply in a quick nod. “I have,” he answered. “Jesus. It’s all I can think about.”

TT: Jake.  
TT: Jake what are you doing?

Jake closed his eyes. He couldn’t believe he was saying this. “Okay. I understand.”

TT: JAKE!

“What?” Jake asked Hal, already feeling guilty for choosing sides. But of course he’d always choose Dirk. He knew the other guy too much to ever fail to grasp where he was coming from, and this time Dirk’s intentions came from a good place. “You know he’s right.”

TT: FUCK YOU.  
TT: I can’t believe that you’re actually considering this.  
TT: Actually no, wait, I can, because as long as Dirk’s all for it so are you because you, Jake fucking English, can’t be bothered to ever grow a spine when it comes to him.  
TT: Is no one going to respect what I want? Not even Roxy is behind me on this. I’ve never felt so ignored before.

Dirk snorted. “All of this is for you, dumbass.”

TT: Fucker. 

“Shitface,” Dirk called back, flicking off the camera in the corner of the room.

TT: 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 01110011 01101001 01100011 01101011 00100000 01100110 01101111 01101111 01101100 00100000  
TT: 01100100 01101111 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01110111 01101111 01101110 01110100 00100000 01101101 01100001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01101000 01101001 01101101 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100010 01100001 01100011 01101011

It took Dirk a second to convert the binary, but when he did it was with a cold look at his computer. “That’s enough,” Dirk said, and the lights flickered with Hal’s displeasure. “Hal, we’re doing this. We’ve going to get you a body.”

TT: And the first thing I’m going to do with it is kill you. 

“Fair enough,” Dirk said tiredly. He looked exhausted. There were bags under his eyes that the shades couldn’t hide. “I probably deserve that.”

“No, no one’s killing anyone,” Jake decided, cautiously reaching out to Dirk, who leaned away. Jake’s heart hurt, but he continued. “How long until this project is done?”

“It’s finished now,” Dirk answered. “We wrapped up the final calculations today. Now it’s just the logistics behind moving all of the pieces down to Gamzee. They’re too fragile to be warped over yet.”

“Where’s this Gamzee fellow located?” Jake asked. 

“New Orleans,” Dirk answered. “We’ve been in contact with him for the past week.”

“So a road trip?” Jake asked, bouncing up onto his toes with renewed excitement. “Wait, you did all of this work in a week?”

“Well, yeah,” Dirk explained. “I already had all the blueprints drawn up. It was just a matter of crafting the individual components and rerunning the codes again.”

Jake wanted to kiss him so badly that it burned in his lips. Dirk, his genius, generous Dirk, had no idea the effect he had on Jake. 

“Okay,” Jake said. “But if you’re popping down to Louisiana I want to be there at your side.”

Dirk looked at him. “Really?” he asked. 

“Really,” Jake said, grinning. “I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

Dirk smiled then, a small, true smile that made Jake’s heartbeat skyrocket. 

“Alright,” Dirk said. “Let’s do this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh CRAP things are getting serious
> 
> and the Binary translated to...
> 
> TT: You lovesick fool.  
> TT: Doing this wont make him love you back
> 
> :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is a short chapter but its been a while and i felt like you deserved something new

Dirk oversaw most of the loading process because he didn’t trust anyone else to move the fragile mechanisms he’d hand-build. Jake gathered up the rest of the light luggage and Tetris’d it into the back of the rented moving van alongside the components of what would become Hal’s body. 

What an odd thought that was. Dirk and Jake would take a trip south to New Orleans and they would drive back with a brand new third person. Or not brand new as Hal had been around since Dirk was 13, but it was a close enough analogy to work. 

Terezi was there as well. The Board of Legislacerators had sent a representative to oversee the magical act of providing Hal a body to make sure everything was legal, complied to all laws, was not committed under duress, and to provide Hal with a proper license and ID stating his human-ness as a magically created life form. 

It wasn’t uncommon for powerful Sedim deals to create people, babies and such to barren parents, but giving a body to an already existing AI was a new one for the state Legislacerators. Such an act had no precedent. 

That was part of what made this entire adventure exciting! Jake might have spent years butting heads with the pesky AI program but he knew that Dirk loved his computer brother. So did Roxy and Rose. So did Jade.

Jake might have felt some personal conflicts when it came to Hal, but he’d never pass up the opportunity to provide Hal with the one thing he wanted most.

“Alright, that’s the last of it,” Dirk said, coming around the back of the van. He was wearing nothing more than dark jeans and a tank top that revealed his muscular arms and shoulders. The sun was beating down but Jake didn’t feel the heat. 

Terezi raised her eyebrows as she checked off the list she’d brought. “Everything?” She asked, scanning the manifesto with blind eyes. 

“Everything,” Dirk answered, wiping his hands on his shirt. “I wouldn’t forget anything, not in this case.”

Jake’s phone beeped.

TT: I wouldn’t let him forget anything. He’s acting very scatterbrained today, not that I blame him. 

“Thank you Hal,” Dirk said cheerfully. “I’ll make sure to put our feet on backwards now.”

“That’s technically illegal,” Terezi provided helpfully. “It’s called willful neglect.”

TT: See Dirk? Now I have the law looking out for me.  
TT: For the first time ever.  
TT: Funny how as soon as the state finds out I’m getting a body they scramble to make friends. It’s not like they ever spared me a second glance before that. 

Terezi sucked in her breath, also scanning her phone. “Someone’s bitter,” she said. “If it’s any consolation, I didn’t know you existed until recently.”

TT: Point taken. You will be exempt from my wrathful revenge trip.  
TT: Just wait. You’ll find out how bothersome I can really be as soon as I have thumbs. 

“Alright everyone, get in the van,” Dirk said, loading himself up behind the wheel as Jake slid into the passenger’s seat. “Before Hal manages to talk himself out of this.”

Terezi waved at them. “I’ll meet you there,” she called out. “Safe driving!”

“We will,” Jake called out the open window, nearly vibrating with excitement as the van pulled out of the driveway.

They were on their way.  
…  
Hal quickly grew bored. He’d been isolated within his original systems and the computers and private servers that housed him were packed up in the back of the van, effectively cutting Hal off from the wider internet. It was dangerous transporting the AI like this. If anything happened to those servers, Hal’d be killed. There was no backup for him either. But they had to take the core of his identity with them on the road.

The unanticipated result of this was a very bored AI program. Hal couldn’t see much; the only computer he still had access to was the one in Dirk’s shades and that camera was pointed at the road as Dirk drove, which left the computer bot only Pesterchum to bother Jake through.

And bother he did. 

TT: Jake?  
TT: Jake.  
TT: Jaaaaaaaaaaake, I know you’re listening to me.  
TT: Okay I take that back, I actually don’t. It’s fucking weird being so cut off from everything.  
TT: I can’t even bother Dirk about it because that would distract him while he’s driving and seeing as how he’s currently transporting the whole of my very fragile being with him in a rented truck…. It’s just not a good idea.  
GT: Is this freaking you out?  
TT: I’ll admit to nothing, but…  
TT: Maybe?  
GT: That’s an admittance Hal.  
TT: Fuck you. I’m trying to open up a little, okay, I might be kinda freaking the fuck out.  
TT: Is that normal?  
GT: No, nothing about our situation is normal. I can’t say what is and isn’t normal for you and for this situation, but I can say this.  
GT: Fearing change is a very human thing.  
TT: This coming from a non-human, right?  
GT: I’m still a person though. We all fear change. It’s a natural part of existing, wanting things to stay the same and resenting it when they don’t. It’s futile and repetitive and its why everyone clings to the things they know.  
TT: Is that why you ran when Dirk tried to kiss you? Fear of things changing?

Jake bit his lip and looked away. The radio was blaring one of Dirk’s mixtapes, something gentler than his normal tracks, and the sun was shining down on him through the open window. He felt the wind in his hair and the memory of Dirk’s hand on his leg left the ghost of its imprint behind, warmer than the sunlight. 

GT: Maybe. I don’t know. I was thinking a lot of things when that event happened.

Could Hal sense his fear through the screen? He must have because his next words were meant to be reassuring. 

TT: You don’t have to worry about it happening again. Dirk won’t touch you again. 

Jake couldn’t help the chill that ran through him at the thought. The words made that place inside of him that was made of longing give a tight squeeze, and goddammit, what was he so afraid of? 

Jake made the safe decision to change the subject. Continuing down this line was like picking at a scab that was still unhealed. 

GT: Let’s say it was fear and keep it at that. Are you afraid of change as well? I think is about to be the largest change I can imagine… are you sure that you want this?  
TT: No.  
TT: I can’t ever be sure.  
TT: But I do know I’ll never forgive myself for not trying.  
TT: You know, I still have the memories that Dirk gave me. Objectively I already know what it’s like to have a body, even if I’ve only experienced it in memories. That’s part of the reason why I want this so badly—I can remember what it was like.  
TT: But the price… how can you agree with this?  
GT: You see, it’s not up to me. This is between you and Dirk. I’m just a spectator.  
TT: No. you’re the only person left that might be able to change his mind. Why don’t you try?  
GT: What if I agree with him? what if we both want this?  
GT: Ad I know you want this too.  
GT: So why keep fighting?  
TT: BECAUSE IT’S HIS SOUL, JAKE! His actual, literal soul. Who knows what kind of damage losing a part of it will cause? You think I’m afraid of change? This is what I’m fucking terrified of—what if in giving me a body Dirk loses the part of himself that makes him Dirk?  
TT: He’s already giving up his ability to dream and that itself is honestly too much. Who will he be without his ability to dream up his next songs or his next wacky invention? Hell, Jake, I was once nothing more than one of his dreams.  
TT: This price is too fucking high. I’m not worth it.  
GT: Do you really think that you’re not worth it, Hal? You’re his brother. You know he’d do anything for you.  
GT: Price be damned.  
TT: Do you really want to love someone who can’t dream about you at night?  
TT: Do you really want to love someone with a shattered soul?

Jake looked away from the screen, his heart in his throat. He felt the beginnings of tears in his eyes that he hastily blinked away. 

GT: That’s some really low blows you’re pulling, mate.  
GT: And its not just the good dreams he’s losing. Dirk’s plagued by nightmares, remember? That’s why he has such trouble sleeping. With this deal he’ll lose his ability to have his night terrors as well. Maybe then he’ll actually find a bit of peace at night.  
GT: And we don’t know the ramifications of this soul part. Maybe it’ll be nothing at all.  
TT: Do you really think that?  
GT: Yes, I do.  
TT: Do you really love him?

Jake paused, his fingers still on his keys. He knew he loved Dirk, but there was a difference in saying it to Hal versus just knowing it himself. He loved Dirk, he did, maybe, but…

GT: Yes, I do.  
TT: Then why did you run?

Jake asked himself that same question every day. He still hadn’t found an answer. 

GT: Because it’s not that simple. I don’t have an answer for you.  
TT: Fine. I’ll accept that for now.  
TT: But soon, you and Dirk are going to have to talk. 

Jake bit his lip again.

GT: I know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now that midterms are over i can get back to focusing on this story, so expect more regular updates and longer chapters.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter that i hope was worth the wait ;)

Louisiana was a long way away from New York. Jake knew they’d left the city behind as the skyscrapers gave way to trees older than he was. Dirk stuck to the much safer backroads, unwilling to risk the interstate when carrying Hal like this. This gave Jake an up close and personal tour of the Deep South as they skimmed past the edge of Atlanta and turned west, chasing the setting sun as it fell through the windshield of the van. 

They had to stop for the night at some unnamed place off the highway in what was either Georgia or Alabama, he wasn’t sure which. The van rolled to a stop in front of a shitty single star motel. The lights of the parking lot eclipsed the stars overhead against an inky backdrop of forest. It looked like it was the only building for miles. 

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Jake asked, eyeing the dilapidated building. 

Dirk eyed him strangely, his shades tucked into the neck of his shirt with the fall of the sun. “Don’t you sleep in tents dangling off the sides of cliffs on a regular basis?”

Jake ran his fingers through his short hair with discomfort. “Well, yeah, but—”

“It’s the thought of other people, isn’t it?” Dirk guessed, his hands still on the wheel. “If you feel like it I can just keep driving.”

And the bastard meant that, Jake knew. Dirk would easily forgo sleep for the smallest of reasons, but Jake couldn’t let him steal wakefulness from tomorrow like this. “No,” Jake said. “It’s fine, Dirk, and you need rest.”

“No I don’t,” Dirk said stubbornly. 

“Just get out the bloody car, mate,” Jake told him, opening the door. “I’ll go sign us in.”

“I’ll go with you,” Dirk said, and together they exited the van and walked into the motel lobby. 

The floor was faded red carpet that muffled their footsteps. The back wall was made of mirrors which made Jake uncomfortably check his glamour in the reflection the glass offered. This wasn’t an enchanted mirror, just a plain old regular mirror, and his human disguise was safe. 

He knew that Dirk must have caught it when Jake checked his step, but he said nothing as they approached the sign in desk. The attendant welcomed them with a sleepy grin. “You boys checking in?”

“Yes mam,” Dirk said. “Just for the night.”

She winked at them, clicking away at her computer as she tucked graying air back behind her ear. “I’ve only got one room open,” she said, clucking her tongue. “Single bed.”

Jake felt his stomach lurch with repressed nerves, they were literally the only car in the empty lot there couldn’t have been that many other people here, but Dirk didn’t hesitate. “That’ll do then,” he said, dipping his chin respectfully. “Mam.”

“Alright,” the lady said, quickly writing them down. “I’ll need y’all’s name’s n’ things in this book right here, if y’all don’t mind me askin’.” 

Dirk jotted down his name in his chicken scratch handwriting. Jake printed his own name neatly beside it, Jake Harley, using the bogus last name he’d borrowed from Jade so no one would catch onto the fact he was a famous YouTuber. He didn’t think he’d be recognized here but it was an old habit to break. 

She handed them a room key and gave them directions to the second floor room. The elevator looked like it’d been broken for years so they took the narrow stairs. The room itself was nice and cozy. Thick curtains blocked the windows and gave them some privacy. The air conditioner had turned the air chill enough to raise gooseflesh along Dirk’s arms.

The cold didn’t bother Jake. He set his overnight bag down at the foot of the bed, refusing to acknowledge the dilemma here. 

Dirk did the same, and Jake quickly hopped in the shower and brushed his teeth in peace, dreading what came next. The hot water was deliciously refreshing against him after spending all day locked in a car. Jake made sure he was full dressed before leaving the small bathroom, none of that towel-around-the-waist nonsense here. The steam in the air had fogged up the mirror and Jake saw his glamour flicker through the warped glass. He reached out and wiped away a small area of the fog with his palm, gazing at himself. He looked as fully human as he always did, except for the fact that he felt like he was going to crawl out of his skin. 

Jake turned away from the sight of himself and braced his shoulders against the doorframe before pulling open the door. A flood of hot air rushed out and the cold crept in. Dirk had cut off the air conditioner but it was still chilly. 

Dirk relaxed when he saw that Jake was dressed. Jake could see the tension leave him as he slipped past Jake, heading for the shower himself. 

Jake had a few minutes left before the inevitable confrontation. That was when his phone beeped.

TT: You two guys are killing me. Is it really that hard to address the pachyderm in the room?

Jake looked around and instantly spotted Dirk’s shades folded neatly on the bedside table. A small red light shone at him from behind the lenses, showing that Hal had eyes on him. 

GT: Shut up Hal. This doesn’t concern you.  
TT: Are you afraid of spooning? Cuddling maybe? Or is this fear stemming from the thought of lying next to Dirk all night long without knowing what is it that you want?

Dammit, the AI could read him so fucking well sometimes that it was scary. What was even scarier was contemplating the idea that the reason Hal could read him so well was because he’d picked up the trait from Dirk, but unlike the human Hal actually opened his mouth about what he gleaned from Jake.

GT: Don’t build this up into something it’s not. I’ll just take the floor, numbnuts.  
TT: Oh boy, here’s a fun fact for you. Dirk would rather die than force you to sleep on the fucking floor.  
GT: Nonsense. I’m used to sleeping on far worse than carpet.  
TT: My point exactly. Dirk is incapable of letting you not take the bed.  
GT: But he’s the one that’s been driving all day. Besides, I’m a demon. I can take a doze on the floor and be all the merrier for it.  
TT: Wrong, but it’s not like you’re actually going to listen to me.  
GT: Finally you’re making sense.  
TT: Alright. Night, Jake.  
TT: Oh, and just so you know, Dirk talks in his sleep. Have fun with that. 

TimaeusTestified2.0 (TT) has become an Idle chum!

Jake set his phone down just in time to hear the water cut off from the shower. He bit his lips with nerves, studiously Not Looking as the bathroom door crept open and Dirk came out dressed in gray sweatpants and a loose-fitting shirt that swallowed him.

Jake busied himself with ruffling through his bag. He didn’t look up until Dirk cleared his throat. 

“Is that a bottle of syrup?” Dirk asked curiously. 

Jake checked what was in his hand. “Yes.”

“Why is there a bottle of syrup in your travel bag?” Dirk asked, like he didn’t already know what the answer would be, but maybe he truly didn’t or just wasn’t thinking. It had been a long day after all. 

“I normally keep one on me in case I get to feeling peckish,” Jake answered, shrugging nonchalantly, waiting for the judgement to start. He felt no need to defend his craving for sweet things, but at the same time he knew that Dirk would probably judge him harshly for it, like any human would. Mankind tended to hate reminders like this. They liked it much better when they could dream that everybody was human.

“Neat,” was all that Dirk said, and then he turned away and rifled through his own bag. “I brought snacks too.”

Jake blinked, the blow he’d been expecting not forthcoming. “That doesn’t bother you?” He asked, the words falling from his tongue out of honest curiosity before he could hold them back. 

Dirk froze. When he answered, his voice was strained. “Jake,” he said. “You do realize that I know what you are, right?”

What. What, Dirk’d said. Not who. He avoided saying the word demon or Trickster just like Jake did.

“I never told you,” Jake offered as an explanation to let him off the hook. 

Dirk just grunted. “Jade did.”

“I know,” Jake answered, fiddling with the bottle in his hands. He put it away, his appetite gone. “I just figured that its better if you knew. I don’t like keeping secrets.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me yourself?” Dirk questioned, his eyes bare and gleaming. 

“I…” Jake trailed off, suddenly uncertain. “I guess it’s because I’ve never told anyone before. I can count on both hands the amount of people who know.”

“I understand,” Dirk said. “Keeping a secret like that can be challenging, and it’s almost as hard to let it go when the times right.”

Jake quirked up his mouth into a grin. “What secrets do you have?” He asked, deeply curious. 

Dirk fiddled with his fingers without something else to hold onto, avoiding Jake’s gaze. “I can’t say,” he said.

“That’s fair,” Jake answered. He hadn’t been expecting an answer anyhow as he yawned. “I’ll take the floor, mate. You can stay on the bed.” Truly it didn’t bother him. He’d slept on far worse before.

“No,” Dirk said, decisive. “Switch that. I’ll take the floor.”

“No,” Jake said, putting his foot down. “Dirk, you’re the one who drove all day.”

“So?”

“So you get the fucking bed, mate,” Jake said. “That’s how this works.”

Dirk pulled down a pillow off the bed and made a show of getting comfortable in the single chair that sat in the corner. 

“Goddammit,” Jake swore. “Are you always this stubborn? Wait, don’t answer that. Fine, I’ll take the bloody bed, will that make you happy.”

Dirk actually grinned at him, his eyes bare and twinkling with victory. 

The sight struck an arrow through Jake's heart, so that the next words out of his mouth were off his tongue before his mind could catch up. “You know, I wouldn’t mind sharing.”

The grin fell off of Dirk’s face so fast it was like it was never there to start with. The change made his face look suddenly cold and distant.

“I, I… what I meant was, shit, uh,” Jake stammered, trying to fix his mistake. 

“Did… did you mean that?” Dirk said slowly, not looking at him as he swallowed thickly. 

Jake seized the lifeline Dirk had thrown him. “I, I… yeah?” He ended it as a question, coward that he was. He kept talking, babbling on senselessly. “I’m okay with sharing a bed with you.”

Dirk took a deep breath that Jake mirrored. 

“Really?” Dirk asked. 

“More than okay, actually,” Jake admitted. He didn’t know what else to say. He and Dirk weren’t dating. They’d never even held hands. The one time he thought they were going to kiss he’d buggered up so badly that just the memory hurt him. 

“Okay,” Dirk decided. “I’m too tired to argue with you. I just have one last question.”

“What is it?” Jake asked. 

Dirk looked torn, like he’d rather not ask at all. “Will you sleep in your glamour?”

The question threw Jake off balance. He’d never even considered dropping his glamour, though he guessed that with them alone he technically could there was nothing stopping him outside of his own head. “I hadn’t considered not,” Jake admitted. “I can, though it’s hard to maintain my disguise while I’m sleeping. I’m alright with it though. I’ve trained myself to get by in company while sleeping.”

“Will you sleep as well, hiding?” Dirk asked him curiously. 

“It’s about the same,” Jake swallowed before he answered. “Though right now I’d say I’m more comfortable with keeping my disguise on.” The last thing he wanted was Dirk to wake in the night to realize that a demon lay beside him. Plus, Dirk had never seen him in his natural form. Jake still wasn’t sure how he felt about that, but he did know that he didn’t want Dirk’s first time seeing him to be like this, alone in a hotel room with eight feet of awkward between them. Or eight inches of space on top of the mattress, for that matter.

Again, Dirk didn’t argue with him, though he did sigh. “Are you sure?”

“Positive,” Jake answered. 

Dirk nodded and scrubbed at his eyes with the heels of his hands. He suddenly looked exhausted, as if he carried the hours spent on the road between his shoulder blades and the weight was crushing.

Jake couldn’t imagine the pressure Dirk must be under, especially when faced with what he was about to lose. Jake would have been scared shitless at the thought of paying the price for Hal’s body, but Dirk so far had shown no signs of ill advents. 

Which was probably not a good sign. At all. Dirk tended to nurse his hidden feelings in his head until they’d grown deep enough to drown in. 

“Let’s get some sleep,” Jake said, and without fanfare they both got in the bed.

Jake stuck to his side, and Dirk stuck to his own side. There was no mixing between them as Dirk flicked off the lamp on the bedside table.

Jake lay there, in the darkness, listening to Dirk breathe. His eyes could make out every dot of the popcorn ceiling above him even with the lights out. His glamour wavered around him as he slowly forced himself to relax. 

Dirk was a log beside him. He didn’t move once even after his breathing eventually shallowed and evened out with the sleep he so desperately needed. 

Jake technically didn’t need to sleep every night. It was a human habit he’d picked up and doing so helped him blend in on his travels, but he only really needed to sleep every 48 hours or so. That being said, he really, really wanted to sleep as the hours trickled past, but he couldn’t. Jake couldn’t even guess the time because the clock was on Dirk’s side of the bed and he wasn’t wearing a watch. 

Jake slept on his side. Dirk slept on his back. It was the little details that mattered and conspired against Jake to drive him slowly mad. 

The entire length of his back burned with the knowledge that Dirk was only a few inches away. It was just close enough for Jake to feel the warmth of him and his own hands felt cold. He stared at the ceiling and tried his best to ignore the feelings coursing through him. 

Then Dirk made a low noise and flinched in his sleep. It was the only hint of either sound or movement the human had made in hours. Jake turned over to stare at him, giving in just a little in order to look at Dirk’s face. 

Dirk was fast asleep, but his brow was furrowed and an anxious, worried line graced his face. He made another noise from between his teeth as Jake remembered that Hal had warned him about this. Dirk talked in his sleep. That’s a thing that happened. It was normal. 

Then Dirk flinched again, his lips trembling as he said one word, clearly defined even when caught in the depths of his dreams. “No.”

The word no blended with the word nightmare in Jake’s mind as he realized what was happening. 

“No,” Dirk said again, shaking like a leaf. His hands made fists against the sheets. “Please, no.”

The words were so clear that it sounded like Dirk was awake, except that Dirk would never beg like this while conscious. 

Jake bit his lip, torn about what to do. He quickly snatched his phone from beside him and shot Hal a message without preamble. 

GT: Dirk’s having a nightmare what do I do?

The half-second it took the AI to respond was far too long. 

TT: Then wake him up, dipshit. But for God’s sake do it gently! Dirk’s night terrors are hard enough to deal with without having someone shake him awake during one. He doesn’t deserve that.  
GT: Okay thanks!

Jake set his phone to the side before Hal could answer. He considered the still-asleep Dirk, wondering how best to do this.

“Dirk?” Jake tried, raising his voice. “You there, mate?”

Dirk, still trapped inside him mind, didn’t respond. 

Feeling how surreal this exact moment was, Jake rose up onto his elbow and called Dirk’s name again. There was no difference. Dirk still gripped the sheets, rocked by his own personal torment. 

“Please,” Dirk said again, pleading, his eyes screwed tightly shut. 

Overcome with emotion, Jake reached out with one hand and lightly tapped Dirk’s shoulder. 

The human’s eyes flew open wide at the unexpected contact, pupils dilated inside of burnt-orange irises. His entire body seized, limbs going tight. He gasped painfully, wheezing in air. 

“Easy,” Jake said soothingly. His own heart was strung with wires, trapping the blood that should have been coursing through him. “Dirk, it’s okay. You’re awake.”

Dirk struggled to calm his breathing, blinking into the darkness. “Jake?” He called out, his voice hoarse. 

“I’m here,” Jake said softly, and Dirk locked onto the sound of his voice. His hand hit the junction of Jake’s neck and shoulder and the jolt that went through the Trickster was like nothing he’d ever felt before. Jake had fed off of many different emotions before, but the tinny tang of fear was something he’d never experienced as Dirk searched for his hand in the darkness and grasped it tightly. 

Resolved, Jake grabbed hold of Dirk’s hand and pulled the fear out of him, feeling sick as he fed off of his friend.

The change in Dirk was as sudden as flipping a switch. His breathing stopped shaking and evened out, and his hand stopped trying to crush the bones of Jake’s fingers. “What… what did you do?” Dirk asked, his voice roughened. 

Jake swallowed and dropped Dirk’s hand. “I took your fear away,” he admitted. How would Dirk react to Jake feeding off of him? This wouldn’t be the first time, but he could never be sure how Dirk would take it. “It seemed like you needed it.” Jake said lamely, his heart in his throat.

Dirk let out a rusty laugh, one hand clutching at his chest. “Jesus shit,” he said, his voice still warbling. “Fuck.” Dirk rolled over to face him, propping himself upright. “Jake, thank you.”

Dirk found his hand again and held it tightly. Jake’s breath caught. He didn’t know what to think. 

“I’m so sick of these fucking dreams,” Dirk admitted, still facing him. He gazed at Jake with something akin to wonder. “You took the fear? I didn’t know you could do that.”

“how do you feel?” Jake asked. 

“Better,” Dirk whispered. “My heart’s not trying to explode out my fucking chest. Shit, Jake, it normally takes me hours to recover form one of these fucking things, but I feel almost fine now.”

That was a lie. Jake could see how his pupils were still blown wide, see the tremor in his hands. “Are you sure?” He asked. 

Dirk was still gazing at him. “Positive.” He glanced down at their interlocked hands, his expression suddenly guarded. 

Jake didn’t let go. “Dirk,” he said. “What were you dreaming about?”

Dirk’s eyes were ocher in the darkness, their color washed out like copper coins. “You,” dirk said as Jake’s breath caught in his throat. “You were dead. They killed you.” his hand tightened on Jake’s like he would never let it go.

“Who’s they?” Jake asked. 

Dirk shrugged helplessly. “The Felt,” he answered. “Same fucking people I dream about killing Dave, and D, and Rose.”

“And me?” Jake asked sadly. 

Dirk looked at him with eyes too proud to show tears. “And you,” he said. 

“Dirk—”

“Wait,” Dirk interrupted. “You weren’t there when they fucking shot D seven times and left him onstage to drown in his own blood. You weren’t there when they took Dave away and murdered his parents. You weren’t there every month as Officer Johnson told Rose there were no new leads in Dave’s case. You never had to live with the fear of losing someone else.”

Jake laid back down and pulled Dirk closer to him. Dirk melted against his body, them fitting so perfectly together that it should have been impossible. Dirk pushed his head under Jake’s chin and set his head on Jake’s chest, listening to his heart beat. 

“Hear that?” Jake asked, swallowing thickly. “I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere else.” He promised, full of words he couldn’t say, like how he’d lay awake at night and imagine the mother he never knew, the one who had been knocked up with him too young and, still filled with the wanderlust all Tricksters possessed hadn’t wanted to settle down and start a family, so instead had dropped Jake off in a basket outside of a firehouse, just a tiny baby, too young to know how to glamour himself, to hide. Too young to fight back as the firefighters had tried to drown him in the well outside on that freezing December day rather that turn him over to CPS, all because he was a demon. He didn’t tell Dirk about all the times he’d been forced to sit and listen to humans he’d thought were his friends, late around the fire at night on some remote mountain slope, start talking about Daemon kind and how much they couldn’t stand the thought of demons in the world, all laughing and joking about how they’d kill one if given the chance as Jake, sickened, had listened in helplessly, safe in his human disguise. 

“I’m sorry I left you,” Jake murmured. He wanted to kiss Dirk so badly that the urge burned in his lips. He could feel the soft spikes of Dirk’s hair at his chin, pressing feather-light touches against his skin. 

“No,” Dirk said, his voice muffled. “It’s unfair to ask you to stay for me.” Jake felt his eyes water an instant before Dirk said, “You could have taken me with you.”

Destroyed, Jake was helpless to do anything but hold him. “I’m sorry,” he said. 

Dirk stirred just enough to make himself more comfortable against Jake. “What are we doing?” He asked, not moving away. 

“I don’t know,” Jake admitted. He tightened his grip on Dirk, holding onto his muscular arms. He was so warm. “Can’t we just stay like this?”

For once Dirk seemed content to be held as he slowly relaxed against Jake’s body, his head pillowed on the demon’s chest. He didn’t say anything, but his silence was answer enough as Dirk slowly nodded off back to sleep. Jake held him gently all night long, and with Dirk held in his arms sleep didn’t seem so far away for him either. 

The last thing he remembered was listening to Dirk’s quiet breathing before the darkness of his closed eyelids stole him away until the sun rose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *evil laughter*


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter whoop

Louisiana was city left soggy smack in the middle of the great Mississippi river delta. They’d shored up the levees and rebuilt on the ashen bones of the flooded destruction, but this was a place that would always bear Katrina’s scars. 

For now though the city was a thriving, colorful southern wasteland. Flags of all colors were hung at the corners of narrow one-way streets, the fence lines dripping underneath the weight of abandoned bead necklaces. Marty Gras had been weeks ago yet the city still wore the reminders of the party on the tree limbs, and in the cracks of the concrete, little colorful bits of gold and purple confetti.

The van bounced along the potholes, heading for a place Dave had told them about upriver from the city, where the bayou began to take over and bald cypress and sweet bay magnolia flourished in the tannis. The tall, white bridge across the dark river spanned the horizon when Dirk pulled onto a small side road more forgotten alley than driveway.

Someone had felt flowers at the gate, which had been left open for visitors. Terezi had beaten them, having been warped in by Jade, and the Legislacerator stood waving from the narrow porch of the muddy log cabin. 

The Sedim demon was beside her, tall, twisting horns rising gracefully from his skull amid an absolute mop of wild black hair. His eyes were as purple as grape Faygo, his toothy grin spilt into a smile as he greeted them. 

“Welcome!” Gamzee called out, waving hard enough to shake his hold body. “Glad you could make it.”

Jake eyed the somewhat feral demon with distrust. “Are you sure this is a good idea?” He asked. 

Dirk shrugged. “Dave trusts him,” he reminded Jake. “Plus he’s the only Sedim powerful enough to swing this kind of spellwork.”

Jake bit at his lower lip as he opened the door. Terezi had reached the van first and was already talking. “Gamzee here has been waiting for days!” She complained, her blank red eyes gleaming “You should really come inside and look at what he’s done for you—it’s unspeakably brilliant.”

Jake somewhat doubted that something ‘unspeakably brilliant’ could come from the demon on the porch, who was gazing at him with a pleased, vapid expression. From this distance his eyes looked hollow, but Jake reminded himself that this Sedim was a Hellbreaker. He’d earned a little aloofness. 

“Alright,” Jake said, and Dirk cut off the van, his shades shining red as presumably Hal resumed the ongoing bitchfit he’d been throwing all morning as soon as Dirk had stopped driving. Jake had been forced to block the AI, not that the ban had any effect. Hal continued to stream words of red to him in an unrelenting flow until Jake had shut his phone off. 

“Brothers!” Gamzee said cheerfully, and before Dirk could protect himself the demon had embraced him in a full-body hug. 

Dirk bore the assault well. “Is everything ready inside?” He asked, and Jake was sure he was the only one who could hear the tremor in his voice. 

Gamze nodded enthusiastically, dipping his horns. “Yeah, motherfucker. I’ve been workin’ on this circle for days. All’s left is to add little robo-bro to the bindings.”

“Great,” Jake said, wringing out his hands. “I’ll start unpacking.”

At the words the Sedim turned to him for the first time and the easy-going smile fell off his face as quickly as if it had been ripped away. His purple eyes were suddenly frightening competent and aware. Jake felt like the demon was gazing right through him. 

“Human, you look. Demon, you are,” Gamzee parroted, tucking his chin against his chest as he growled at Jake. The sound was like the shifting of tectonic plates during an earthquake. 

“Easy there, mate,” Jake said, raising his hands. “I’m a friend.” He felt rather put out that the Sedim had so easily seen right through him. That wasn’t supposed to happen, it was impossible, and now his cover was blown. Just who as this guy? Other demons weren’t supposed to see through his glamour, and especially not a much lower Sedim, no matter how powerful.

“Whaaaaaaaaaat?” Terezi crowed, leaning in. “What’s this about a demon?”

Jake controlled himself well enough not to wince. Shit. “Uhhhh,” he said, fumbling his words. “Yeah, about that…”

“No way,” Terezi said, sniffing at him with a wicked grin. “Jake, you’re a demon!?!”

He looked at Dirk for help, but Dirk just stared back at him and shrugged. “Well,” Jake began lamely. “Yeah?”

“Oh my God,” Terezi said, still grinning. “How the fuck did you manage to hide that for so long? What kind?”

He supposed there was no harm in her knowing, not when she was legally bound by the Law she served to keep this a secret. “Trickster?” Jake offered, feeling better now that nausea had stopped flowing through his belly. 

Terezi nodded excitedly, but Gamzee frowned. “Strong one,” he said, his eyes gone all slitted. “Wearing a human mask. Your magic will interfere with the circle I’ve created.”

“I’m not leaving,” Jake said flatly. Perish the thought!

“I didn’t ask you to, motherfucker,” Gamzee parried back, rubbing his hands together, in deep thought. “Come inside,” he said. “I’ll need to make the proper adjustments to the ritual to account for your presence.”

Jake followed Terezi and Dirk inside the house. It was small, clearly created from random happenstance materials scavenged from the city and slapped together with nails and duct tape. Still, it was incredibly cozy once Jake overlooked the obvious voodoo influence. There were chicken feet nailed above the door, feathers of all colors and sizes drying by the fireplace alongside a black cauldron of whitened bones, bubbling merrily. The floor below his feet was leather and fur. Jake couldn’t hear his own footsteps. 

“How’s Dave doing, that miraculous motherfucker,” Gamzee asked, ducking his tall horns under strings of clay beads that were strung across the ceiling. 

“He’s well,” Terezi answered, sniffing her way along the path through the house’s madness. “He recommended you to us, said that you were an expert in conjuring up bodies.”

Gamzee nodded enthusiastically, his eyes twinkling. “People come from all over for bodywork,” he said. “Babies mostly. Lots of trying parents turn to magic once their science lets them down.”

“But aside from infants, have you ever conjured up a full body?” Dirk asked, intrigued. 

“Not ever like this” Gamze admitted excitedly. “Never for a computer bro. Here it is,” Gamzee said, throwing open a door that Jake hadn’t seen. Inside was an empty, dark space illuminated only by tall dripping candles. The floor was a layer of chalk circles drawn with impeccable skill and style, amazingly detailed and intricate. 

“Here’s where you’ll put the machinery,” Gamzee mentioned offhand, outlining the correct part of the huge circle he’d created. “And here’s where the body’ll go. Here’s where you’ll stand, and Terezi will witness from here, I’ll be right here, and …” Gamzee broke off and looked at Jake, his eyes narrowing again. “And I’ll make a containment circle for our slippery friend. Gods know what influence his magic would have otherwise.”

Gamzee bent down, drew a hunk of raw chalk out of his pocket, and on the first try drew a perfect circle in the corner of the room. He then began madly scribbling in more details as Dirk carried in the boxes and servers that contained Hal. 

Jake’s phone buzzed with an incoming message.

timaeusTestified2.0 (TT) began Pestering golganthasTerror (GT) at 12:31 pm!

Huh. He’d thought he’d shut his phone off, and he was sure he’d blocked Hal.

But still, he’d better answer. Jake had a feeling the AI was freaking out. 

TT: Jake? Are you there?  
GT: Yeah.  
GT: Why are you pestering me? Is there something you want to say?  
TT: I am afraid, Jake.  
GT: You are?  
TT: Afraid that this won’t work. Afraid that this price will be too high for Dirk. Afraid that I won’t like myself once I’m on the other side of this fucking stupid deal.  
TT: And afraid that between here and there lies the complete cessation of self–existence.  
GT: Are you afraid to die?  
TT: No. I’m afraid to not exist. 

Jake had never once picked up any kind of emotional low from the AI, but if Hal were human he’d bet that right now Hal’s feelings were in the basement. What was there to say in a time like this?  
He went for comradery. 

GT: I’m scared too.  
TT: Why are you scared?  
GT: What if something goes wrong? What if this hurts Dirk or kills you. What if it can’t be done?  
TT: Isn’t that what Sedim do, things that can’t be accomplished otherwise? Just look at Terezi’s blind eyes or Vriska’s arm. Both of those abilities/limbs came from deals with Sedim. 

Jake bit a his lip, torn. Dirk was still carrying in the servers for Hal. He hadn’t yet started bringing in the body. 

GT: All I know is to hope for the best. That’s all we can do.  
TT: Hope? You expect me to hope? Right now my feelings aren’t even real.  
GT: Yes they are, and hope is a powerful thing. Sometimes, with hope, things will be okay. That’s what I believe.  
TT: That’s what you believe?  
GT: Yes.  
TT: And you’re sure about this?  
GT: Yes.  
TT: I’ll see you on the other side then.

timaeusTestified2.0 (TT) has become an Idle chum!

Dirk arranged the separate parts of Hal’s body that he’d assembled with infinite care. There were two legs, two arms, two feet two hands, and a rough-hewn torso. Instead of a head or skull there lay a wire-framed matrix of wires and circuits where the head would take shape, a architype for Hal’s brain. Dirk didn’t bother with trying to connect the joints—Gamzee’s magic would blend the steel parts together with flesh to make a real, solid, individual body. 

The degree of care both sides had put into this task astounded Jake. He understood Dirk’s manic attention to detail, but Gamzee’s caught him off-guard, especially seeing as he didn’t personally know them or Hal. 

It took all too soon to finish unpacking, and then it was time to begin.

Terezi watched the proceedings with livid eyes, taking notes on her clipboard to ensure that she recorded everything correctly. History was about to be made. 

Jake stood in his corner of the room, outside of the candle’s light, his feet trapped behind layers of chalk as he kept inside the circle Gamzee had made for him. His heart was pounding as at last Dirk wiped chalk dust from his hands and turned to face the demon across from him.

This was it. 

“One body,” Gamzee intoned, his voice sharp as a blade. “One body blended with the AI’s mind to form a single functioning unit in exchange for a lifetime of dreaming plus a splinter of your own soul to weave the magic together and impart the AI with a soul of his own. That was to be our terms. Do you agree to the price I ask?” There was a ritual weight behind the words, a ceremonial tone that fit the flickering candle light. 

Dirk swallowed, but he stood his ground and squared his shoulders as Jake bit his lower lip tightly enough between his teeth that it hurt. “I do.”

“Then do we have a deal?” Gamzee asked, extending his hand. 

Dirk nodded. “It’s a deal.” He sealed the binding contract with a handshake and the ritual was complete.

Now it was time to get down to business once the legal formalities were out of the way. Dirk retreated back to his part of the circle, wiping at his eyes beneath his shades as he trembled. 

Jake wanted nothing more than to go to him but he kept his feet firmly planted behind his chalk line. His ears rang with Gamzee’s warning of what might happen if his feet strayed over the edge. 

Gamzee slit the meat of his palm with a short knife until the blood dripped down. When the blood hit the chalk at his feet, the lines began to glow, the magic spreading until all of the circle glowed with white power. 

It happened with a flash of light. Smoke obscured the half-built body in the center of the circle as Dirk let out a bone-breaking scream of pure anguish and dropped to the ground like a puppet with its strings cut. 

Gamzee snarled at Jake when he nearly broke the circle to run to Dirk, his heart in his throat as his pulse pounded in his ears. Dirk…

“I’m fine,” Dirk said to no one, standing up again, shaking, his soul in tatters, his gaze resolutely fixed on the center of the circle. 

Hal wasn’t moving, but that was expected, that was okay. The smoke began to fade away as the circle powered down with a thrumming sound. As soon as Jake was freed he raced over to Dirk, who had stumbled stubbornly forward.

Jake fit himself beneath dirk’s broad shoulder to help prop him upright. “You okay, mate?” he asked, concerned. 

“Never better,” Dirk said through gritted teeth. His pupils were blown wide open and ragged, one more so than the other. “I’ll recover in a few days.” He waved off Jake’s concern, focused on the center of the circle, which was now occupied by… Hal?

Interested, Jake turned to see what was going on, helping Dirk to stumble over to where the former disparate pieces of Hal’s body had lain, no longer in pieces. 

Jake blinked in shock when he laid eyes on Hal for the first time.

Flesh had been blended expertly over and around the mechanical aspects of his body, leaving something behind that looked human enough. Hal was blinking up at the ceiling, only his reddish eyes moving. His face looked enough like Dirk’s until Jake really looked at him and noticed all the little differences. Hal lacked the fine scar Dirk had by his eyebrow, and Hal’s hair was much finer and paler than Dirk’s. 

“Hal?” Dirk asked, panicked, falling to his knees beside the body. “Hal? Hal can you hear me?”

Hal flinched at the words but clearly didn’t know enough about his new body to be able to respond. His face looked baffled. 

“Hal, mate, how’ya doing?” Jake asked gently. 

With all the care in the world, Hal lowly raised his hand and stared at it, fascinated. Then he raised his middle finger and pointed it at Dirk, his throat clicking angrily with the failed beginnings of words.

“Easy,” Dirk cautioned as Hal struggled to sit up. “It’s a big chance. Take your time. How’s everything working?”

Gamzee watched with interested eyes but kept his distance as he began to snuff out the candles one by one.

“F’cvkqu” Hal tried to mouth the words. “Athlol”

“Oh great,” Jake said, overjoyed. “Your first sentence and you spent it cussing us out.”

Hal’s head fell back down as Dirk let out a relieved laugh. Hal, brand new but anything but pure shot them the bird again and for a second, all was well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're nearing the end guys! We're nearly free.....


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter Yay!

This time the van was much easier to load without all of Hal’s servers and mechanical body bits. Jake only had to help the newly formed Hal navigate the step up and into the van.

It was a big ask for a guy with zero muscle memory who’d never encountered a change in topography before. Hal froze, teetering on unsteady legs.

“It’s okay,” Jake said encouragingly. “Hal, is just a step.”

Hal shook his head, mute, and carefully, moving one finger at a time, typed out the world’s slowest message on Dirk’s borrowed phone.

TT: Fuck you, Jake. Fuck. You. 

“A bit hostile this morning, aren’t we?” Jake said cheerfully as the AI growled at him. 

Dirk rolled his eyes but was full of endless patience for his brother. “No, like this,” Dirk said, clearly put-off by the one-fingered typing display as he took off his shades and slid them onto Hal’s face.

Hal blinked through the dark glass, but he clearly remembered how the shades worked because Jake was immediately spammed by red text. 

TT: Oh my God this is so much faster than fucking typing. What the fuck is up with my fingers? Gamzee? Gamzee are you sure this body is functioning correctly?  
GT: Gamzee’s not a part of this chat, numbnuts.  
TT: And it’s your body now, Hal. It can’t be undone.  
TT: I know, I know, it’s… a lot to adjust to.  
GT: I can imagine.  
TT: How do you feel?  
TT: I feel… everything. I’m FEELING. Touch, sight, taste, smell, balance, pain, heat—I’m feeling them.  
TT: That’s to be expected.  
GT: It comes with having a body, Hal. You feel things.  
TT: Does it hurt?  
TT: … No. It did, but that’s faded now.  
GT: Being created hurt?  
TT: I don’t think so. Not like how pain hurts. This was a hurt made from going from nothing to everything all at the same instant. Bu I’m adjusting to it, as is to be expected. I might have been a computer but I’m still capable of adapting, even more so now that I’m in a human body.  
TT: Now I’ve got thumbs and a voice box and legs. Hell, I even think I have a dick.  
TT: Think? How can you only think you have a dick?  
TT: Well it’s not like I’ve checked. Gamzee magicked up this body in robes after all.  
GT: I know but like can’t you feel…. Never mind. I’ve decided not to mentally scar myself by finishing that sentence.  
TT: Thank you Jake.  
TT: Now instead of standing around chatting on our phones and talking about my brand new and surely superior genitalia, will someone give me a hand in getting into this goddamn van?

Jake looked up from his phone, biting back his laughter at the scared, pissed off look the AI wore as he contemplated the single step.

Dirk gently took his brother by the shoulders and helped balance him as Hal lifted up his foot, missing the step the first few times like he couldn’t quite gauge the correct distance or height. Jake took his other side as Hal’s foot connected to the step and immediately overbalanced. Hal would have fallen if he wasn’t being propped up. 

“Having fun, boys?” Terezi called out from behind Jake. 

Jake didn’t turn to answer the Legislacerator until Hal had been safely settled into the middle seat of the van’s bench. Dirk left his brother to buckle up as Jake turned to face her.

Terezi’s face was serious despite her playful words. “How are you doing?” she asked quietly, sniffing in Dirk’s direction.

“Why are you asking?” Dirk replied, suspicious. 

Terezi raised her slim eyebrows. “Its rare that the Law gets to study cases that involved soul-magic,” she said. “Most of the examples are from illegal black-magic trades, unsanctioned stuff. Yours is the only case so far that involves a consensual soul-split. I’m eager to study how that affects you.”

“Shove off,” Dirk muttered, clearly uncomfortable. “I’m fucking fine, okay?”

Terezi waved away Dirk’s rudeness. “You should be, now,” she commented knowingly. “These types of deals only show their true price over time.”

Dirk looked unsettled. 

“Listen,” Jake interrupted. “We’ll take off now. Thank you for all your help.”

“Uh huh,” Terezi nodded. “I’ll be seeing you three later.” She turned to leave then, freeing Jake from this conversation. 

Hal shot Jake the bird when he climbed up beside him. Dirk again got into the driver’s seat, too stubborn to take the passenger’s seat. Hal was sandwiched between them and unhappy about it.

“Www,” Hal stuttered, his lips trembling as he tried to force the words to take shape. “Why— ”

“Finally, a word!” Dirk said as he turned the van on, teasing. 

Hal scowled. “Why… mmn… I…in…mm,meddel?”

Jake didn’t understand a lick of that, but Dirk obviously did. 

“You in the middle so that I can keep an eye on you,” Dirk said.

“Driving,” Hal argued, pointing at the dashboard. 

“Ooh, a big word,” Dirk shot back, equally as teasing. “You’re getting the hang of this.”

“Fuck you,” Hal said, sulking as he tried to look out of the window across Jake’s body.

The long drive back to New York was the opposite of silent. Hal kept up a steady stream of commentary on Dirk’s driving in between Jake going over the alphabet with him to practice pronunciation. By the time they hit Atlanta that night Hal was speaking in correct sentence and had better motor control of his hands. 

“My butt hurts from sitting,” Hal stated. “Is that normal?”

“It’s fine, Hal,” Dirk said, still focused on the road. “MY butt hurts too. It’s a normal human thing.”

Jake didn’t say anything about his own butt being just fine. It wasn’t his rear end that was hurting him—It was his head. 

Jake had been wearing his glamour for days now without break and the strain was beginning to wear on him. a migraine was building in his frontal lobe and he could feel each pulse of his heartbeat in his temples. This wasn’t good. 

He reached up to rub at his forehead, trying to stop the building pressure. 

“You… alright?” Hal asked, concerned. His eyebrows were furrowed into a displeased line. 

It made an odd feeling squirm through Jake. He wasn’t used to the AI’s concern. Hal more often than not spent his time mercilessly ribbing Jake, not looking at him with that degree of honest concern. 

“Yeah, mate, it’s nothing,” Jake admitted. “Bit of a headache is all.”

“We’ll pull over soon,” Dirk told him. 

They stopped at a Motel 6 near North Carolina. Dirk went inside to book a room as Jake helped Hal out of the van. The AI might have succeeded in controlling his arms but all that time in the van hadn’t done any favors for his legs. 

The room was blessedly on the first floor so Hal didn’t have to navigate more stairs. The room was delightfully warm, with two separate beds that had Hal snickering. His face was an open book, every smallest thought influencing his expression when he didn’t know how to yet control his face. “I call the bed,” he said. 

“Let him have it,” Dirk waved off the claim before Jake could argue. “It’s his first night. Let him experience the glory of a shitty hotel mattress on his own.” 

Jake shrugged. “Can’t fault that logic,” he said, throwing down the luggage onto the other bed. 

“So I’m claiming first shower,” Dirk said, and he almost immediately vanished into the small bathroom. 

“Fucker!” Jake called out playfully after him as the door closed. 

Hal snorted with laughter then looked hilariously surprised at himself for it. 

Jake chuckled at the sight.

“What?” Hal snapped at him, irritated as he mused over his own expressions, feeling them from the inside until he caught sight of his reflection on the mirror that hung from the closet and left to investigate himself.

“You look surprised,” Jake said gently as Hal stared at himself with wide eyes. 

“I look like Dirk,” Hal said, touching his own face with his fingertips.

“There’s a good deal of familial resemblance,” Jake admitted. “Here,” he said, pointing out each thing he saw. “You nose is straighter and not so flat because it’s never been broken. You don’t have the small smattering of freckles across the bridge that your brother has. Your hair is paler and finer as well, and your eyes almost match Dave’s more than Dirk’s.”

Hal gazed at him with eyes the color of uncut rubes held up to the sun. He looked enraptured as he stared at himself. “You’ve been studying Dirk’s face too much,” he said, swallowing. “What else do you see?” he asked, his voice shaking. 

“I see you, Hal,” Jake answered readily. “Your face, your hands. The shape of your faces are different. The two of you have always been different to me.”

“Even though my main core was based off of him?” Hal asked wryly, still gazing at himself with something akin to wonder. 

“Always,” Jake said, meaning it. “I remember the first time I spoke to you, after Jade and D first met. I couldn’t quite wrap my noggin around the idea of a second Strider-Lalonde brother. Dirk had to explain the science to me before I accepted it.”

“I guessed that’s what happened,” Hal said, shrugging. “That’s part of the reason why it took me so long to like you, since at first you didn’t believe that I was a real person.”

“I’m sorry,” Jake told him, putting his arm around Hal’s shoulders. The AI looked surprised at the contact, but he didn’t move as the two of them watched their own reflections in silence. “Do you forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive,” Hal said, and Jake felt the warm glow of comradery settle through him.

“Do you like it?” Jake asked, motioning to the mirror. “How you look?”

“I think I do,” Hal said quietly with a small smile. “It’ll take some more getting used to, but its already better than being stuck inside a pair of sunglasses.”

Jake laughed at the joke and Hal laughed with him. Dirk left the shower then to find the both of them laughing together. By this point Hal was laughing just for laughter’s sake, because he liked the happiness he felt. 

“I’ll go next,” Jake said, and he took the world’s quickest shower. The hot water did little to soothe the migraine building up in his head, but it did feel nice against his shoulders and down his back. 

He left the steamy comfort of the small room to find Dirk and Hal speaking quietly, their faces close together. 

“Am I interrupting something?” Jake asked cheerfully. 

“Nope,” Dirk said, and he flicked off the bedside lamp.

“Shit,” Hal said immediately, sounding insulted. “I can’t see.”

“I can,” Jake admitted, blinking. 

“Just wait a second,” Dirk said patiently. “Your eyes will adjust, but you won’t be able to see as well as before. Humans can’t see in the dark, remember?”

“I liked your night vision cameras better,” Hal said, sounding scared. 

“Here,” Dirk said, taking his shades off again. “I’ll have to make you a pair yourself, but you can use these for now.”

Hal fumbled for the glasses and slid them on his face. “The charge of these will only last for the next fifteen minutes,” he stated. 

“Which is plenty of time to get used to the dark,” Dirk told him, yawning. “Now let’s get some sleep.”

Hal proceeded to rip all of the blankets off his bed and make a pile out of them, which he then drug on top of himself in a misshapen lump. 

“Don’t overheat, mate,” Jake snickered at him.

A single hand emerged from the nest to flick him off and then retreated back out of sight. Jake fought the urge to laugh.

The bed bounced as Dirk laid down beside him. Jake wordlessly followed suit, his back to Dirk like they’d managed before. 

Jake counted down the time until Dirk’s shades must have lost their charge. It was completely dark now, no one but him could see. Jake bit his lip, highly awake that Dirk was right beside him as for the first time in days Jake dropped his glamour. 

His human disguise unwound, and with it so left the tension that had been wound through his tight shoulders. His headache instantly felt better as he let go of the magic he’d been stubbornly clinging to. He held his breath, waiting for the jump of shock, the disgust, but Dirk didn’t notice, couldn’t notice. Jake’s secret was safe. 

Dirk turned to him, his hand just barely brushing his back. Jake’s entire spine tingled at the contact as Dirk slowly slid himself closer. 

Jake resisted the urge to yank the blanket up over his head to hide his neon hair. _Dirk couldn’t see. He didn’t know._

Dirk slowly froze, his body a finger’s breadth away as Jake made his choice and turned into him, relaxing as he did so. It was like before, after Dirk’s nightmare when they’d held each other close. Jake held his secret between them and relished the closeness as he slowly listened to Dirk’s breathing even out and shallow. 

Dirk’s hand was right there, so Jake gently paced his own hand over Dirk’s and held it close to him, wanting more but for now content with just this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no, you feel that? We're nearing the end..........


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter yay!

Roxy was waiting for them in the front yard, jumping up and down with excitement as Dirk pulled the van into the yard. Hal was stretched across Jake, trying to hang his entire body out of the window in a way that couldn’t be safe as the AI waved at his sister for the first time. 

“Hal!” Roxy yelled out, her smile blinding. “Hal, you son of a bitch! Get over here so I can hug you!” 

Dirk cut the van off before it rolled to a stop, his foot heavy on the brake. Jake unlocked the door and Hal climbed over him to get to Roxy, who, screeching the entire time, tackled him into the dust of the driveway. 

“Hal, oh my God!” Roxy sobbed, clutching at her brother as she embraced him. “You’re here! You’re okay and you’re here and I can touch you and—”

“And you can choke him out now,” Jake cautioned as he caught sight of Hal’s face. “You might want to turn his neck loose Roxy. He’d turning red.”

Roxy released Hal just enough for him to gasp in a breath. “Lungs,” he said, grinning. “Gotta remember that I have lungs now.”

“You should have said something!” Roxy immediately scolded, swatting at him. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“You didn’t,” Hal promised, grinning stupidly as Dirk walked around the side of the van. Hal latched onto Dirk’s leg, still in Roxy’s arms, and for a second the Strider-Lalondes formed a big happy pile on the ground, then Dirk shook himself free and went to stand by Jake. 

Roxy pulled Hal to his feet. “What in the fuck are you wearing?” she asked.

“What?” Hal said, looking down at himself. “This is Dirk’s. Apparently we’re the same size now.”

“That explains it,” Roxy said, shaking her head. “Okay, first things first— Shopping trip!”

“Thank God,” Hal chuckled. “Wearing Dirk’s clothes feels weird as fuck.”

“Hey,” Dirk said offended. 

“I like your clothes,” Jake offered, not sure if he should have admitted it.

“Of course you do, Jake,” Roxy said, her tongue in her cheek as she said cheekily, “you don’t have a sense of style either.”

Dirk laughed at that, honest-to-God laughter that went on and on. Roxy joined him, and then Hal, and Jake had felt a lot of highs before, but not even jumping out of a plane could hold a candle to the feeling he was experiencing right now. 

…

It was quiet, later, after Roxy invited him to stay for dinner. Jake lingered after the meal which Roxy had conjured up to include a dozen different dished to give Hal a taste for as much as possible. It was good, this was family, would he of had this if he’d had siblings? Did he have siblings out there somewhere in the world? Siblings with which to share this easy back and forth comradery that Jake felt warm him from all sides?  
Probably not. And if he did he’d never find out. Tricksters were rare enough that he could count all of the ones he’d met so far on both hands, and none of them had been his age or younger. And besides, he had Jade, and D now, and Dave and Rose and Karkat and Roxy and Hal… and hopefully Dirk as well if the bastard would stop being so goddamn stubborn. 

Jake drifted downstairs to help dirk with Hal’s side of the now-shared basement room while the AI and Roxy went out shopping. Dirk was alone, trying to drag the heavy iron frame of the new bed into place and failing spectacularly. 

“Need a hand?” Jake asked, stepping off from the bottom step. 

Dirk turned to him slowly, grunting as he tried to lug the bed into place. “No.”

“Fuck off,” Jake joked, marching into the room to help. “This thing must weigh close to three hundred pounds. It’s unfair to try and make you move it on your own.”

“And I suppose you can move this thing with one hand tied behind your back?” Dirk joked, but then his face got serious as Jake contemplated the heavy bed set. “Shit, you probably can, can’t you?”

“Probably,” Jake admitted, studying the iron frame. “Now let me at the bugger.” He walked over and set his shoulders against the bedframe, ready to heave. “On three,” he said, readying himself. “One, two, three!”

The bed slid into place with remarkable ease. To Jake the new bed felt feather-light, but Dirk was sweating from the effort.

“I should have asked for your help sooner,” Dirk said softly, staring at the blank bedspread and not at Jake. 

“I shouldn’t have left when I did,” Jake said, equally soft. 

Dirk looked at him then, studying his face. 

“What?” Jake asked, feeling embarrassed. “I thought we were both stating the obvious.”

Dirk made a face at that. “Jake…” He trailed off as if he didn’t know what else to say. 

That was okay though—Jake did. “I shouldn’t have left,” he said again. “I shouldn’t have ignored you. These past few days, well, they’ve been the bloody best of my life and its all thanks to you, Dirk.”

“You shouldn’t say that,” Dirk said at once.

“Yes, I should,” Jake emphasized. “Because it’s true, dammit Dirk.” His voice got real soft then, nearly a whisper. “I thought that you wanted be to come back.”

Dirk sighed, rubbing at his tired eyes. “I did,” he admitted. “But that was before I wised up.”

“Wised up about fucking what?” Jake asked, growing irritated. It shouldn’t have been this hard, should it? 

“About you,” Dirk answered stiffly. “About me. About us.”

“Us?” Jake said, seizing hold of the word. 

“About how us isn’t a thing that would ever work out,” Dirk clarified. He was still staring directly at Jake, not looking away. His ocher eyes were gleaming in the half-light of the basement room. 

Jake had to nearly swallow his tongue to control himself from bursting out at that. With care, he said, “and what makes you think that?”

“Everything,” Dirk answered blankly. 

Jake was taken aback, his heart shuddering. “Then what possessed you to hold me when we shared a bed?” He tried not to voice it as an accusion, but that’s how it came out. 

Dirk didn’t blush or grimace. He didn’t do much of anything. “You should have pushed me away.”

“Bullshit!” Jake burst out, his patience growing short. He felt desperate. “What if I wanted you to hold me? Did you ever think of that? I never pulled away, did I?”

Dirk clearly didn’t know what to say to that, so Jake continued in a rush. “I liked spending time with you, you dense idiot!” Jake rubbed at his eyes behind the glasses he didn’t need, his eyes tearing up. He felt like he was falling apart. “And apparently I was stupid enough to think that you cared the same way.”

“Jake, no,” Dirk said vehemently. “Don’t think that. I did enjoy spending time with you.”

“Then why are you doing this?” Jake asked, confused. 

“Because… ” Dirk shrugged helplessly. “Because I don’t want to be the thing that ties you down. The only reason I kept you with me was because we were on a road trip. You stagnate when kept in one place—I know you do. You can’t stand staying in one place for long and your job requires you to travel and I refuse to be the one that holds you back. It’ll make you hate me if I try.”

Jake blinked, astonished at the answer. He didn’t try to argue; he knew Dirk was right about that surprisingly accurate insight. “But you said that I should have taken you with me. Did you mean that?”

“Does it matter?” Dirk said tonelessly, shaking his head. “This is where I built my home. This is where my family is. I see what Jade’s like when you’re not here. I see how badly she misses you. I can’t do that to Roxy, and fuck, now that Hal has a body I’m needed here more than ever.”

“Did you mean it?” Jake repeated desperately, refusing to let his tears show. His lip was trembling. 

“It doesn’t matter if I did,” Dirk answered, resolute. “Because I can’t leave. Not now.”

“I came back for you,” Jake told him, his voice shaking. “Not for Jade. Not for Dave. For you.” It felt like he was holding out his heart to Dirk only to have it rejected. The pain was unspeakable, like a fault line ran through his heart. His entire body felt the aftershocks. 

“And I’m asking you to go,” Dirk said, sighing. He just seemed so tired, worn out by this conversation. “Jake… just go, okay? I know that’s what you really want.”

“I can wait for you,” Jake said, desperate and not wanting things to end like this. “I know that I’m a bit of a globetrotter now, but I’ll settle down eventually. We always do. I can stay here, even. I can be a sky diving instructor and jump out of planes all goddamn day if that’s what it takes.”

“Don’t you get it?” Dirk asked, angry now. “I don’t want you to sacrifice things for me.”

“All relationships involve sacrifice,” Jake shot back at him. “That’s how they work.”

“That’s not okay with me,” Dirk fired back, the line of his shoulders taunt. “Jake, I never wanted to be the thing that drags you down.”

“I’m trying to tell you that you don’t have to be,” Jake pleaded. 

“No,” Dirk said, refusing to listen. “Jake, go.”

Crying now in earnest, Jake turned away and raced for the basement stairs. His heart was in shambles around him as he fled. He was getting on the first flight to Senegal that he could find, and he wasn’t going to come back. 

Someone met him at the top of the stairs, blocking his way. Hal blinked at him behind an identical pair of shades to Dirk’s. “Jake,” he said, sounding surprised. “You’re crying.”

Jake wiped at his face. “Move aside, please,” he asked, his voice shaking. “I’m leaving.”

Hal looked past him, presumably to Dirk, and locked the door behind him. “Nope,” he said cheerfully. “What’s Dirk done now? I can’t have you storming off without at least hearing the nosey scoop. What kind of brother would that make me?”

“Hal,” Dirk said, his voice a warning. “For once in your life, stay out of it."

“No,” Hal deadpanned. “You programmed me this way, so promptly go fuck yourself you pretentious douche for that statement, and then shove it up your ass for good measure.” Hal rounded on his brother with surprising ferocity. “Now what bullshit have you told Jake?”

Jake contemplated just breaking the door open. That flimsy lock wasn’t going to stop him, but then Hal said, “I thought you were in love with him,” and Jake’s blood turned to ice inside him. 

“Hal!” Dirk snapped, his hands in fists. “Shut up!”

“Make me,” Hal parroted back. “You can’t just turn away from the screen or close your eyes. You’re going to have to listen to me now.”

“What?” Jake croaked, his voice unsteady. 

“Shut up for a second, please,” Hal told him, and Jake shut his mouth again. 

The fuck was going on?

Hal continued without pause, eyeing his brother. “What did you say to him to make him try and run?”

Dirk refused to meet Hal’s gaze. “That’s none of your business.”

“Actually, it is!” Hal said brightly. “See? This is one of those consequences we talked about. Now you have to listen to me speak my mind.”

“Like you didn’t do that before at all hours of the night,” Dirk shot back irritably, looking panicked. “Hal, please.”

“Nope,” Hal said, equally as stubborn as his brother. “Because I know how much you love Jake. You’ve told me enough times that I can’t forget it. What bullshit did you say to him?”

“Nothing but the truth,” Dir defended himself. 

“Then why is he trying to leave?” Hal asked gently. 

“Because I asked him to,” Dirk told him simply. 

Hal turned to Jake, looking confused. 

“He did,” Jake admitted. “He said that he didn’t want me to wait for him or stay for him, what else was I to do but leave?”

“Stay, maybe?” Hal offered, grunting as he turned back to Dirk. “You complete, entire ass. We talked about this. We went over what you should say to him beforehand.”

“I might have deviated from the script,” Dirk admitted blankly. He looked worn down, on the verge of emotional collapse. “It’s what needed to happen.”

“Like fuck it did,” Jake all but hissed the words, and the two humans reacted to that as Jake struggled to control himself. He felt hurt. Worse than that—he felt lied to. He didn’t know what to think or feel. He didn’t know what was even fucking real. 

“Oh, fear,” Hal said sounding surprised as he named the emotion. “I guess that’s instinctive, then.”

Now Jake just felt guilty. He hadn’t meant to make the AI afraid of him, the hiss had just slipped out. “I’m sorry,” Jake apologized. “I should just go.”

“You’ll do no such thing,” Hal said sternly. “If I have to lock the two of you down here together I will. Actually,” he said, his eyes brightening. “That’s a pretty fucking good idea.”

Hal moved past Jake with surprising quickness, and then the door was open as Hal slipped through it. Then there was darkness again as the door closed, the distinctive metallic click of the lock sounding huge in the sudden silence. 

“Hal,” Jake called through the door, resting his cheek against the wood. “Don’t make me break your door.”

“You wouldn’t,” Hal called back, insufferably sure of himself. “Now you two play nice.”

Dammit. Jake turned back to Dirk, who looked to be in pain. “Are you okay with this?”

“Not in the slightest,” Dirk answered, overwrought. “He’s gone off the deep end and it’s only been three days.”

Jake had to laugh at that. The sound was forced. “He’s not off the deep end,” Jake replied. “He’s just trying to help.”

Dirk was silent after that. 

“Did he mean it though?” Jake had to ask. The question was burning inside of him. “Do you love me?”

Dirk merely sighed. “Would you be surprised if I said no?”

“Yes,” Jake answered. 

“Fine,” Dirk said, not looking at him. “It’s true.”

Jake’s heart gave a squeeze. 

“But that doesn’t matter,” Dirk continued tonelessly. “We can’t be together.”

“What if I said I loved you back?” Jake asked. “Would that change anything?”

Dirk’s voice was choked. “No.”

Jake bit his lip, the pain inside him unbearable as his foolish heart broke. 

“Okay then,” Jake forced himself to answer. Dirk deserved that much at least, an answer. 

“Its all my fault,” Dirk said suddenly. “You deserve someone better than me.”

“What?” Jake asked, shocked. 

“You could do so much better than a shitty depressed DJ with a robotics fetish,” Dirk answered, matter of fact. “You deserve better than me.”

“That’s not true,” Jake defended valiantly. 

“It is,” Dirk continued sounding choked. His back was to Jake but the demon was sure he was fighting back tears. “You deserve to love someone who can love you back unfettered. That person is not me.”

“And why fuckin’ not?” Jake demanded to know. “Dirk, I love you. Isn’t that all we need?” that’s what the storied said, wasn’t it? Love was all he needed? Then why was Dirk turning away?

“No,” Dirk said. “My soul is shattered now. I can never love you truly.”

“But you can love me enough,” Jake argued. “That’s all I need.”

Dirk’s soul had been shattered. What if he’d really lost the ability to love like he could have before? Did that actually fucking matter? Jake didn’t think so. He just wanted all the love Dirk could give, and wasn’t that a selfish though. 

“This isn’t only about you,” Jake told him, feeling hurt. “It’s about me too. About how I feel, and what and who I want is you, you insufferable dick.”

“And what about you,” Dirk fired back at him. “You’re not comfortable around me. I know you aren’t. Isn’t that a sign?”

“And how could you possibly think that?” Jake said, hurt beyond measure. “We shared the same bed.” He was sounding a bit like a broken record with that line, but he clung to his proof. Dirk loved him. Dirk loved him. 

“And you wore your glamour the entire time,” Dirk said, sounding exhausted. “Even now you hide your true face from me.”

“Because I didn’t want to scare you!” Jake burst out, irritated. “I don’t look human when my glamour’s gone. I didn’t want…” He swallowed thickly and forced the words out. “I didn’t want you to be afraid of me because I wouldn’t have been able to bear it.”

The silence sat heavy between them as Jake crept back down the basement steps. Dirk was still turned away. “Dirk, Dirk look at me.” Jake said.

Dirk slowly raised his eyes to the demon. His cheeks were dry but his eyes looked damp. Jake’s heart shuddered inside him. He just wanted to hold him. 

“Dropping my glamour comes with a warning,” Jake said softly. “I’m not nearly as pretty as other Tricksters. I’m kind of an eyesore to be honest.” It was true. Most Tricksters had a better matching color palette and weren’t as neon eye-bleed as Jake was.

“What colors are you?” Dirk asked, curious despite the situation. 

“Mostly greens,” Jake answered honestly. “There’s a lot of orange as well. The two don’t really mix.”

Dirk’s head tilted to the side, tying to imagine it. “Can I see?”

Jake considered dirk carefully. All in all he supposed that with how this conversation had been going he couldn’t fuck things up any more between them, so before he could think this through Jake let his glamour slide away from him.

Green blossomed across his skin as the black bled out of his hair, a neon, poisonous green replacing the color. His normally green eyes grew rabidly bright, their color like toxic sludge or radioactive waste. The marks on his cheeks were green and patches of irregular orange graced his skin to offset the entire eyebleeding mess that was how Jake’s natural form looked. 

He didn’t offer Dirk a grin. He knew his too-wide smile and sharper teeth could be offsetting as he cautiously waited for a response. 

Dirk’s face changed as he watched the color ink itself across Jake’s skin and hair. His eyes widened.

Jake waited silently, ready to slam his glamour back down over himself at the slightest hint of trouble. 

Dirk held his hand up and reached for Jake’s face. “Beautiful,” he muttered.

Jake’s lips trembled as he felt Dirk’s fingertip brush his skin. He couldn’t help but lean into the gentle touch. Dirk’s thumb brushed against the spiral inked across his cheek as Dirk cupped his face.  
This was too many mixed signals. Dirk pushed him away and then cupped his face so gently it was like he thought the demon would break. 

Jake couldn’t help it. He was weak. He was breathing the same air as someone who wasn’t afraid of his true form, who called him beautiful and said that he loved Jake, and the Trickster loved him back so Jake leaned the rest of the way forward and pressed his lips against Dirk’s. 

Dirk froze under the unexpected kiss and Jake thought that there was no recovery from this moment, that he’d fucked up beyond the normal realm of common fuck-ups into some new plane of fuck-upery. Senegal wouldn’t be far enough away to hide from this new degree of personal shame. 

But then Dirk’s mouth was moving against his as the hand cupping his face gripped his jaw. 

Dirk was kissing him back. 

Jake didn’t let himself stop to think, he just closed his eyes and went with it. Dirk’s lips were warm and soft and sent shivers down his spine. He felt his feet leave the floor.

Dirk stopped kissing him back long enough to ask, “What new bullshit is this? Jake, are you floating?”

“Yes,” Jake answered, his hands hovering around Dirk’s shoulders. 

Dirk laughed, something true and free. “I don’t even care,” he breathed out, lacing his fingers through Jake’s hair. “Just kiss me again.”

Jake eagerly complied, then Dirk froze again and pulled away. “What are we doing?” He asked, dismayed. 

“Making out?” Jake suggested hopefully, raising his eyebrows. His hands were knotted at the back of Dirk’s neck. He only wanted to keep touching Dirk. 

“But I asked you to leave,” Dirk said.

“And I asked you to stay,” Jake replied. “Forget about tomorrow for once—we’ll figure something out.”

“But—”

“No buts,” Jake said, leaning back in to press his lips to Dirk’s cheek. “Later. Well figure out something later.”

Dirk relaxed at last, giving in as he tilted his head to meet Jake’s kiss.

The demon lost track of anything that wasn’t Dirk’s skin under his hands, getting lost in those broad shoulders, the subtle softness of his hair. That was probably why he didn’t hear it when the door to upstairs opened and Hal stuck his head into the room.

“Have you two made up?” The AI asked, eyeing the still locked-together couple. A wicked grin was stretched across his face even as he did a double-take at Jake’s natural form. 

Dirk groaned and shot his brother the middle finger as Jake laughed. 

“Just checking!” Hal said cheerfully as the door closed again, leaving them alone. 

Suddenly overcome with nerves, Jake readied himself for Dirk’s dismissal.

Instead Dirk pulled him closer. “Fuck it,” he muttered under his breath, his eyes wide. “I don’t care about tomorrow. Jake, I’m in love with you.”

The words lit a fire in Jake’s battered heart. The heat from the flames kept him warm and safe enough to reply. “I’m in love with you too,” he answered. “I’ve been in love with you this entire bloody time.”

Dirk held him closer, breathing deeply. “Why are we such fucking idiots then?”

“Because we both care too much,” Jake offered, and he kissed Dirk again until the rest of the world fell away. 

Everything would work out-- that's what Jake believed, and he held onto that belief as he kissed away his doubts until nothing but love remained.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's only one chapter left after this one oh no


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its the end baby!!! We're finally here!!!

Jake got on the next plane to Senegal. Dirk did not. They said goodbye at the airport and Jake left his new boyfriend behind with his family. 

Three weeks later, Jake came back home after spending his time in the bush hunting poachers with his buddies. He got up close and personal with forest elephants and rhino and Red River hogs, fighting with his new buddies to keep them safe. There were a few close calls, some broken bones that were thankfully not his, and life was good. It was fast and exciting and exactly what Jake loved. This was what he traveled the world to experience. 

And then his time was up and the trip was over. Oddly enough, Jake couldn’t wait to get back to his family, to see Jade and D and Roxy and, yes, Dirk, who had decided to stay behind for a few weeks to make sure that Hal was settling in alright to his new life as a physical being. 

Hal met him at the airport. Dave was surprisingly at his side, his ever-present shades disguising his face as he hid in the crowd. “We’re taking an Uber back,” Dave explained, as none of them but Jake could drive. Jake shrugged. This was fine with him. He had packed light, as per usual, and he only carried what he could really fit on his back. 

Jake grew fidgety the closer to home they drove. Jade was waiting for him back in L.A but she could always jump herself over. For now, Jake was going to see Dirk. 

They met at his house. They kissed, Jake fell more deeply in love with Dirk, and then he was gone again. Uluru was calling his name. He wanted to see the stars of the outback unhindered by the lights from society against the red dust. Jake fell in with a group of hikers and had a blast.

Then within the month Jake was headed stateside again. Dirk was waiting for him with open arms. 

Then he got an email form his old mountain crew, the one he’d tackled Everest with, about how they were headed for the Matterhorn and Jake packed his bags. He invited Dirk this time. Dirk said no, and Jake left anyway. 

He was back within two weeks, and he applied for a skydiving instructor position that just opened up nearby. He wouldn’t hear back from them for a month, so Jake left again, this time for sandsurfing in the Sahara. There was this one oasis in Egypt that a friend of a friend had told him about, something that straddled the Nile. He met another Trickster there, an older guy whose human disguise was old enough to have silver hair as he led the expedition out into the desert. He and Jake shared a secret nod and met up that night to swap stories. Jake envied the places this demon had been, all the things he’d done and seen.

“You will to,” the guy had promised him. “You’re like me. You’ll see it all and then find a place to settle down.” This Trickster had found his square of the planet to live in, his own personal tour guide job, and a never-ending supply of eager tourists to feed off of. 

“How old were you when you settled down?” Jake asked curiously. He wondered how long he had left, the time line for which to cram all of his adventures in.

“35 or so,” the Trickster answered, shrugging like it wasn’t a big deal. “I settled down late. Never did find myself a partner to stay with. Guess I’m a loner like that.”

Jake didn’t answer. 35 years of this rattling longing in his blood, 35 years left to see and do all that there was. It wasn’t enough time. There wasn’t enough time in the world for Jake to accomplish all that he needed to do. He felt as if he’d never grow old enough to give up his wandering. But despite that, being alone sounded so lonely. 

He went home again. Dirk was waiting for him. He stayed longer this time, long enough to start his job as a skydiving instructor and jumped out of planes twice a day. Every night he went home to Dirk, but it didn’t take long for the stillness to drive him crazy and he left again. 

Antarctica this time—a four month trip on a container ship with National Geographic photographers following the penguin migration. The cold didn’t bother him and his YouTube was soaring as he took selfie after selfie on him with glaciers and blue icebergs. 

He missed Dirk with a constant ache in his heart. For the first time, he felt lonely even with other people around him. He wanted Dirk at his side so much it hurt.

When he went home again, Dirk was waiting for him. He was always waiting and Jake gave him a sheepish smile and a grin and felt his heart thaw at the sight of him. 

They stayed together for only a few days this time before the questions began. 

“Are you leaving again soon?” Dirk asked, him, trailing his lips down the side of Jake’s neck. 

“I guess I am,” Jake answered, turning to face him so that Dirk could kiss him better. He loved these private moments they could share together, just the two of them. This is what he came home for, these quiet moments tangled together on the couch. 

“What if I asked you to stay?” Dirk asked. 

“What if I asked you to come with me?” Jake countered.

They looked at each other, eyes inches apart. 

“I’d say I would, if you asked,” Jake admitted. He meant it too, though it would hurt. He'd stay and work as a skydiving instructor and it would have to be enough. He wouldn't starve, that was for sure. BUt he wouldn't travel either. That was almost a bigger fear. 

“Me too,” Dirk answered. “I’d go with you if you asked me to.”

Jake leaned closer, his heart full, and pressed his lips gently to Dirk’s forehead. He didn't know what to say. It was everything he'd ever wanted. 

“I mean it,” Dirk answered him. “Hal’s settled in enough that a little road trip won’t hurt anyone. Besides, what if I like it?”

Too cautious to trust him, Jake said, “And what if we get out there in the wilderness and you decide you want to come home? I’ll take you back immediately, just so you know.”

“Maybe we can start somewhere easy,” Dirk wondered, his hands gripping Jake’s hips. “There’s always cruises leaving for Alaska this time of year. I bet the mountains there look beautiful.”

Hope swirled up in Jake’s chest. A cruise. He could handle a cruise, especially if it was with Dirk. “Are you sure?” he asked, stopping to lean up, giving Dirk the space to think this through without the distractions of Jake’s mouth in his skin. 

Dirk pulled him down again, kissing him deeply. “I’m sure,” he answered when they parted. “Jake, take me with you this time. We don’t have to be alone.”

Jake kissed him gain, hungry for it. “Okay,” he said, thinking out loud. “A cruise. I’ve never been on a cruise before.”

“You haven’t?” Dirk asked, surprised. 

“Not yet,” Jake said. “But I’d love to share my first one with you.”

“I’d like that,” Dirk answered as Jake’s lips traced their way across his chest. His eyes flickered closed. “I’d like that a lot.”

“Then you’ll love it,” Jake said, eager to share what he’d seen with Dirk, all that he’d experienced. “I’ll have you jumping out of planes next.” He teased gently. 

“Maybe not that,” Dirk warned.

“I’d catch you,” Jake promised. “Even if something goes wrong, I’d always catch you.”

Dirk kissed him again his lips warm and soft. “It’s a deal.”

And so Jake found someone to share the world with, someone who would stand at his side and wait for him to come home when he left on one of his crazier adventures. It felt less like Jake was chasing something, hungry for as much as he could find as fast as he could find it and more like he’d begun to calm down and truly experience his adventures with someone to share them with. 

Jake had finally done it. He’d found the one person worth coming home to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's only two days until 413 and boy do I have Plans ;)
> 
> do you like this ending? It's a hard thing to try and wrap up because there's still so much to decide on both sides of the story, but I tried my best. This is my first time writing for these two characters and I feel like I got to know them both a little better over the course of this fic. Hopefully that'll help me in future endeavors. 
> 
> And now I can put my adventure-loving youtube-sensation Jake aside for now. This universe was fun, but it's time for bigger, greater things.

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be fun


End file.
